For a period of time, life was going great for me. I was doing well in many areas of my life: I got into the school of my dreams, I was finally reaching the financial goals I had set for myself, and I finally started to see the body I envisioned for myself. My life seemed to finally be where I thought it should be. One might say my life seemed perfect, and, consciously or subconsciously, I made myself believe I had all of the things or reached these heights due to my own doing, discounting the fact that God bestowed these blessings upon me. During this period, I became arrogant and prideful – traits that we all know can be detrimental to ourselves and others. 

God mentions this in Proverbs 16:18 KJV: “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall,” and I became more reliant on my successes and accomplishments than I was on the one who bestowed them upon me: God.

But, this issue at the heart of being self-reliant is this: Who do we turn to when we, ourselves, are limited in what we can do or accomplish, especially during difficult circumstances or when life gets hard? The Bible tells us, “Man born of woman is of few days and full of trouble. He springs up like a flower and withers away; like a fleeting shadow, he does not endure” (Job 14:1-2 NIV). 

And just like that, that blissful period of my life withered away like rose petals from the stem of a rose plant on a windy day. It seemed like anything bad that could happen, did happen. From work to school and personal life, issues kept popping up left and right like zits and bumps on an adolescent’s face who just entered puberty. I was taken aback, to say the least. I thought God hated me, and I thought every negative thought that one could imagine, given the circumstances.

But a weird thing happened in the midst of all what seemed like hell and calamity. I had to stop relying on myself but rely on someone greater than me, God. It was honestly weird and scary to rely on someone I could not see or touch but I just trusted in His namesake, knowing that He will always come through in times of need. I had to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5 NLT). It was a scary process, initally, but through it, my intimacy with and love for God grew. My mother always told me as I got older, I could only stand on others’ faith for so long until my own is the one that is being tested. This could not have been more true. (James 1:2-4 ESV) speaks to this, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Through the many trials and worries that I had stacked up against me, I saw the weakness that was me and my limited authority; but I also saw the great power that was God. 

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 NLT speaks to this perfectly: “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

In my moments of need, I was stuck, with nothing to do or hide behind. I was either going to sink under all of my issues or humbly seek God for His help. In my seeking and humbly asking for His help and guidance, God showed up and showed out. God helped me live with, through, and above the issues and circumstances that were going on. God bestowed upon me his “peace that surpasseth all understanding” (Phillipians 4:7). Through all my trials and even now, God is just reminding me not to rely on ourselves and the limited power that we may think that we have. Because only with Him, anything is possible. 

Words of Encouragement: Marvin Sapp, “Never Would Have Made It”.

Never would have made it 

Never could have made it, without You 

I would have lost it all 

But now I see how You were there for me and I can say 

I’m stronger, I’m wiser 

I’m better, much better 

When I look back over all You brought me through 

I can see that You were the one I held on to. And these words could not be any more true for me and you. If you just take a second and look back on your life and think about the insurmountable heights and depths God brought each of us through. Why would we want to rely on anyone or anything other than Him?