My prayer partners called me one night insisting that we pray. No one knew what or who we were praying for, but once we said amen, my friend asked if anyone was struggling with doubt. I instantly felt like a deer in headlights, but I didn’t understand how or why. I sat in silence until the Holy Spirit prompted her to call me out. I didn’t know how to identify this feeling of doubt, but I could feel its stronghold. As I tried to explain the root of my doubt I was unable to come up with the words, and then my friend asked something I will never forget. She asked me why I underestimate my power. My spirit was shaken because I didn’t see this power, to begin with. At that moment, I realized that I had failed to recognize the full extent of my salvation. I understood that Jesus died for me and that I had been made whole. I understood that I had been forgiven. I understood that I have a God-given purpose, but I had dismissed the authority given to me through Jesus, and I hadn’t truly activated it. Jesus says in Luke that he has given us authority over all the power of the enemy, that nothing shall hurt us, and that the joy we have is because our names are written in heaven (Luke 10:18-20).
Because we have salvation, we are victorious. I have authority because I gave my life to Christ, and this prayer session showed me that I need to live in that truth. We all do. Pastor Jerry Flowers once said that when we find ourselves entertaining bad thoughts, we need to check our spirit. This encounter gave more depth to Pastor Jerry’s advice. I had to uproot this doubt from within me, but I had to figure out how the seed was planted. Doubt can enter our lives in many ways. The enemy planted this seed of doubt in my life when I was very young. Like some of you, I was bullied for most of my early childhood. I moved around a bit while growing up. I had a home, but I found it difficult to ‘find my place’ in my community until I got older. Due to my social discomfort, I was often targeted by others which made me think that I had some sort of inability to be accepted by almost anyone. I began to doubt my acceptability, which transferred into other forms of doubt in my life.
No matter how doubt settles into your life and how it looks now, I want to let you in on a little secret. I want you to know that the enemy is aware of the power and authority God has given you through His Son, but he doesn’t want you to be aware of it, let alone claim it. This is why some of us endure a lot throughout our young lives. One of the things you don’t know until you grow closer to God is that the battle you’re fighting is bigger than you- that’s why we need Jesus on our team. Ephesians 6:12-13 says that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, we must take up the whole armour of God (Eph. 6:14-18). We were born into a battle with sin, which we have been called and equipped to fight by the Holy Spirit.
When we find ourselves in seasons of wrestling, we can sometimes find ourselves asking God, “Why is this happening to me?”. “God, why are you letting this happen to me?!” As if you didn’t already have doubt before these challenges came your way, right? How could you possibly fester up the grit to press on? How could you possibly see the victory over the things that make you doubtful? No matter how much faith I had, this was still part of my mindset; until recently when my pastor said something that created a permanent shift in my thinking. He said that “Things don’t happen to you, YOU happen to things.” You see, God’s strength shines through when we are weak (2 Cor. 12:9-10). Because we know this, the power of Christ shines through us and that is what the enemy fears. It’s because of the Holy Spirit God has given YOU, that the enemy is doing all he can to keep you from seeing that God-given power. The enemy knows that God has a life full of joy, hope, and peace for you; that’s why he’s so fixated on stealing your joy, killing your sense of hope, and destroying your peace, but God has destined for us to live a greater life (John 10:10). Next time doubt creeps in and you feel as though you’re losing sight of who God has created you to be, I want you to ask yourself this: if the enemy can recognize my power, why can’t I? Own the power God has given you. Walk-in authority. You’ve been equipped for this season, and God is preparing you for the one to come.
