The goal in life should be to focus on your own vision and purpose enough that you have no room for comparison. Although I know that, sometimes, I just can’t help it. It takes a really strong character and discipline to mind your own business – I’m not talking about gossipers and people who consistently pry in other people’s lives. All I’m saying is that we are in an era that makes it almost impossible to ignore other people’s lives and purely concentrate on yours.
Admittedly, you may spend your whole day focused on excelling in your life and achieving all your goals. You even take breaks in between to pray and trust God for grand desires. All this goes great until you decide to check your phone. Suddenly, you bump into an Instagram update of your former colleague, classmate, or childhood friend. It’s just one picture of them smiling in a posh neighborhood, but then it drags you into a rabbit hole of checking other pictures they’ve posted over the year. Soon enough you realize they changed neighborhoods, got your dream job, a wardrobe that would win the Oscars, and are married to the spouse of their dreams. That’s when the drama begins.
It’s at that moment that you begin to think of the many ‘unanswered’ prayers in your journal. You have so many un-ticked boxes on your list that questions begin to come up. Is God even taking me seriously when I pray? Does He hear me? Have I done something wrong that my prayers aren’t getting answered? What is the secret to getting my life to play out like I’ve wanted it to? Why does it seem like everyone else’s life is unfolding just as they wanted?
In all honesty, you are not the only one who asks these questions. In fact, the longer you are a Christian, the more of such questions you may have. Still, you must learn the balance between asking God questions, and questioning His character – and that is usually a very thin line!
Comparison is not a new concept under the sun – according to King Solomon, nothing is. Even David, great as he was as a king, had his moments of comparison – and he was a man after God’s own heart. What makes you think you’re exempt from these feelings? It almost always feels like everyone else, particularly those outside the faith, gets the good things. It’s as if all things in the universe are working for them – they gloat and seemingly triumph over everything they face in life.
Psalm 94:3 LORD, how long will the wicked, How long will the wicked triumph? (NKJV)
For just a moment, indulge me. Do you not wonder how wicked people seemingly have it easy? It’s not just about the money! It’s the opportunities, too. It’s also how they have less to worry about even when they spend most of their lives intimidating and oppressing others. Then, you start to think about the sacrifices you keep making to work out your salvation. The many times you need to be kind when the first thought on your mind wasn’t. Think about the opportunities you’ve had to turn down because they did not line up with your beliefs – and in no way aligned with God’s will. Think about how hesitant you’ve been in life because you’ve had to wait on God’s directive on your next move. Do you see what I mean?
Psalm 94:9-11 says, “He who planted the ear, shall He not hear? He who formed the eye, shall He not see? He who instructs the nations, shall He not correct, He who teaches man knowledge? The LORD knows the thoughts of man, That they are futile.”
The truth is, your thoughts will betray you, even when you think you are a steadfast Christian. Then the devil will find this the prime time to sneak in lies about how miserable your life is. Soon enough, you start to question God’s ability to hear you. You will begin to believe lies about how life is seemingly unfair when the devil amplifies your delayed blessings vis-à-vis the achievements of the people around you. Your mind and heart will work against your spirit, feeding you information about how God is not in a hurry to prosper you. It will almost always look like the righteous have no chance of success on this earth. But maybe that’s the point. Perhaps, the point is that what success looks like for the righteous on this side of eternity is not the same as success for the wicked. Perhaps, the point is that it seemingly looks like a loss, but it is the fulfillment of victory. Perhaps, the wicked need to look like they are winning in this life because not much victory awaits them on the other side of eternity.
And if that is not enough, think about the things unseen.
The truth of the matter is that everything is not what it seems – there is more than meets the eye. There are battles you’ve won just because Christ lives in you. There is grace and favor you’ve attracted simply because of who your Father is.
Although in the literal sense it doesn’t look like it, you are more than a conqueror. Do not despise God’s help – it is not a simple thing that you have God on your side helping you.
Psalm 9:17 Unless the LORD had helped me, I would soon have died.
Maybe the only truth is that our definition of success is already flawed. We consider glammed life on the gram and wealth as the only definition of success. But what about peace? That I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. What about provision? That I live in houses filled with all kinds of good things I did not provide, wells I did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves I did not plant. What about direction? That my steps are ordered by the Lord. What about winning battles? That God has gone before me and made the crooked paths straight; He has broken in pieces the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron. That He contends with those who contend with me. Do those not count as success?
One of the things that is helping me maneuver my 20s better as a Christian is redefining success. Success, to me, is that God is with me – that He is for me. That is all the introduction I would need to win in every room. Even though it may not look like I have it all together in the physical realm, I know better than to go solely by what I see. Isn’t that what faith is about? That there is more to life than what we can identify with our five senses?
When you can finally acknowledge these things, then you will stop being intimidated by the eventualities in other people’s lives. The truth is, they may be in a fancier neighborhood than you, but do they have God? They may have the hottest spouse in town, but do they have God? Do they know what it means to have God siding with you? Do you even know what it means? Maybe that’s where we should all start!
2 Chronicles 26:5 says, “Uzziah sought God during the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God. And as long as the king sought the LORD, God gave him success.”
