“The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord.“- Proverbs 16:1
If you have not heard this scripture before, you have certainly heard the phrase, we plan and God laughs and I have made my own plans enough times to be intimately familiar with God’s sense of humor. He is no stranger to irony either, but thanks be to Him that my plans did not derail His will (Romans 8:28).
I am starting graduate school next month and excited isn’t even the word, but two years ago, it wasn’t even on my radar. In fact, I told myself, for a long time, that I was not going to pursue my Master’s, and certainly not just for the sake of having a Master’s degree. If I ever did go, it needed to be necessary or at least, a reason for me to be pursuing it. And a year later, to my surprise, I found my reason. In my final semester of undergrad, my professor invited a professor in my school’s grad program to my class and suddenly, something I’d never given any real thought was appealing to me. She mentioned the community that is built in graduate school and that’s something, as a writer, that I was severely lacking, so the prospect of having one thrilled me.
As my mind began to change and expand, I could hear God laughing then.
A few months after graduation, I wrestled with what was next. Immediately, I was brought back to the idea of grad school, so long as it was not a program at my alma mater, which there was no good reason for. I decided it would be NYU and prayed only after asking God to let it work out but the order of everything was wrong and I soon realized NYU was not the place for me when I didn’t get in. I would be lying, though, if I said the rejection didn’t shake me for a moment. I felt deficient and like I’d failed NYU – failed to prove to them why I deserved to be there when in actuality, that was never where God wanted me to be.
It’s easy to see that now but at the moment, I struggled for the silver lining and for meaning in what felt like the end.
To make a long story short, my spirit was led to check my former school’s graduate writing program – the program that inspired me to go to grad school in the first place, and next month, that is exactly where I will be beginning my Master’s program. By God’s Grace, with my acceptance came a 75% tuition scholarship and returning to an environment that is familiar to me and helped to shape me as a writer once before, and one which I have no doubt will shape me again. The path God had for me was right in front of me and though I erred initially, I found more than I could’ve ever anticipated and that is the beauty of God!
I share this as a testimony and testament to God’s faithfulness. We plan things oftentimes never conceiving of the fact that there is a better way and more importantly, often without ordering our steps in the Lord.
We have to yield to God always, trusting in Him always and not leaning upon our own understanding. We cannot call ourselves children of God when we are being led by our flesh and do not surrender everything including our own plans and desires, to God. In that obedience and surrender are bountiful blessings and opportunities to cast a light for others to God in and through us.
But I think I understand why God laughs when we plan and it’s not just because our plans usually don’t include Him. I think it is also because the plans and visions we have of what we can do or want to do always pale in comparison to the plans He has for us. He knows the plans He has for us and when He sees ours, the plans we in our flesh make, they are not nearly as immense or grand as what He, the Creator of all things, has in mind for us. So, I challenge us to truly order our steps in God’s word and as we attempt to plan, remember how much greater and grander God is, remember we are nothing without Him and remember He reincarnated His son as a man to save you before you even came to be. Then imagine what He could do and wants to do with you and I pray that is more than enough to allow you to only trust Him and believe that He has better things for you as you delight yourself in Him (Psalms 37:4).
