I don’t know about you, but 2023 has been a trying year for me. It seems like the last 9 months have gone in a different direction from how I thought I would see God move and the year isn’t even over yet. A pivotal moment of this year so far was attending and performing at the sixth poetry jam, marking the fifth anniversary of UN-ASSOCIATED. Though that day was monumental, the days leading up to it were so unreal that I knew it was only God.
About a month before the trip to LA, I could barely pay my bills. Due to cut hours, forgetfulness/ procrastination, and bad spending habits, almost every time I had to pay my car insurance and car note at the same time, my account would go into the negatives. Yes—very embarrassing to tell y’all but I pray you find freedom in my vulnerability. At this point, Emmanuel had already signed me up to perform and the Airbnb for the girls I was staying with was already secured. I felt the peace of God when agreeing to the trip and performance but naturally, I had no means to get there. This would have been a great time to panic but I didn’t.
“…And she said, “All is well.” ( 2 Kings 4:23)
The verse above is the response of a woman to her husband after their only son died a couple of years after Elisha said she would have one. This was a miracle that took place after she went out of her way to make a place for him and she actually didn’t even ask him for a son, Elisha’s servant petitioned for her. And now the thing that she was blessed with died prematurely.
Six days before I left for LA, I had no money for the ticket. I was planning to Instacart all weekend to get at least one way. When my mom surprised me with a shopping spree to prepare for the trip, I used some of that money for the flight. The next day, five days before the flight, I got into a car accident while going to Saturday prayer. Not only is my car no longer safe to drive but now I have a back injury, meaning that I can’t go to work. I was in a moment that cost me more than I thought I could lose in such a short amount of time. However, I knew I was still going to LA based on the mustard seed of faith that God wanted me to go. And if He wants me to go, He will provide for me.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” ( Hebrews 11:1)
In 2 Kings 4:27-37, this woman first went with haste to Elisha and questioned him. “Did I ask a son of you my lord? Did I not not say, ‘Do not deceive me’?” Stop and think about that statement. Many may take her asking as her throwing shade at or questioning Elisha, but she is actually confronting her reality with God’s promise. I knew God wanted me to be in LA for this event, but why was the car accident allowed to happen to me? Why, while preparing to shine your glory through my story, am I facing such inconveniences, Lord?
“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4 NLT)
Now I’m not saying that you should be unwise and not expect the consequence of your actions, as I am now taking steps to become more financially literate and responsible. However, one day at a time, God provided the funds for not only life stuff but for the trip as well. I got to connect with the team and experience a community that made me feel like I was at home across the country from my own. And the woman’s son was resurrected, all because she decided to challenge her reality with God’s promise. She and I had something in common at the moment. We had nothing else to lose, so faith was the only option. What about you? If God doesn’t do it, will it get done?
