TW: Sexual Abuse
For most of my life, my identity was rooted in the need to be seen as strong. I thought that strength was enduring constant pain without saying it hurts, rejecting the fact that I need help, and being silent about traumas that plague me everyday. When I talk about trauma, I’m referring to experiences that have deeply shaped my life: surviving sexual abuse, growing up without my mother from the age of six to thirteen, and being shot at four times. Like many men, I was taught that strength meant stoicism—that the way to handle pain was to bury it, to give no response, and to keep moving forward, no matter what. Yet, that resistance eliminated my ability to receive the true strength, everlasting love, and faithful care that is promised to me by God.
I embraced stoicism, but I did not embrace God.
True strength lies in our humility, it is through that humility that we can ask the Lord to help us. The great King David opens Psalm 55 with a sincere plea, “Listen to my prayer, O God. Do not ignore my cry for help!” This is the same David that killed Goliath (1 Samuel 17:46-50), became a king (2 Samuel 2:1-2), and won many battles on behalf of God. This verse challenges me because David does not hide behind his success, status, or his pride. In the midst of his woes, King David chose to lean into his neediness because He knew the Lord would hear him. “But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice.” (Psalm 55:16-17)
As a human, I must be constantly rescued and protected by God. Even on my greatest day, I am fundamentally needy, dependent, weak, feeble, fragile, exposed, and utterly sinful without the help of God.
In fact, the entire essence of the Gospel is centered around our inability to overcome sin without His help (Luke 20-24) – we will always need help. “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13). While I’ve read the verse many times, it is only now that I have begun to understand its meaning. The author emphasizes that Christ “gives” him strength, highlighting that he does not possess this strength independently of God. I love this verse because it challenges the pride within me and dismisses the temptation to see myself as “self-made”—when in truth, all my strength comes from God. I cannot carry the burdens of this life alone, as they were never mine to bear on my own.
In His kindness, God has taught me not to be discouraged by my finite abilities. Instead, I am encouraged by King David’s words: “Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the Godly to slip and fall” (Psalm 55:22). When I admit my weaknesses, I find God ready to care for me, holding me steady and protecting me from slipping into despair. I only began to know God as my true strength when I allowed myself to be weak.
I am not doing God a favor by acting “okay”. I am not doing God a favor by refusing to share my pain. I am not doing God a favor by limiting His access to my emotional, mental, and physical well being.
His power works best in my weakness, it is only when I am weak that Christ’s power can work through me (2 Corinthians 12:9). Men, let’s find a new source of strength within our weakness. Let us submit our pain to Him, so that we can have access to the great care that God has for us. He loves us and He knows our limits, it is time to allow ourselves to be cared for.
Let’s take pleasure in our weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that we suffer for Christ. For when we are weak, then we are strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10).
