Hi. My name is Danielle and I don’t take compliments well. This doesn’t make much sense now but I promise, by the end of this piece it will.

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of going to a leadership retreat in the Poconos. The change of scenery and peace and quiet was nice but the fellowship and allotted time for self-reflection was invaluable. Not only did we evaluate the kinds of leaders we were and the styles with which we led, but we also evaluated who we were as people and how that affects our leadership.

The final activity was a silent activity. The speaker would make statements like these: Tap someone who ..you’d like to know better, you would go on a road trip with, is passionate, inspired you, etc. The beauty of all this was that everyone sat with their backs turned and eyes closed as individuals went around tapping our shoulders. We had no idea who was tapping us and when it became my turn, the people I tapped didn’t know it was me either. Basically, we all experienced the activity as the tapper and tap-ee.

Now, why did I tell you about a team building exercise? Well, for one, the activity in it of itself resonated with me because of the power I felt afterwards, and not a bad power, but the power in knowing that in less than 72 hours, through word and deed, I was able to impact people that before last weekend I didn’t even know. 

But in a larger context, what does that mean and why is that important?

Earlier, I mentioned that I don’t take compliments well, but what I should’ve said is I’m working on it because last weekend, I was forced to evaluate what was going on at the heart of me dejecting positive feedback. I had a tendency to disassociate, to take myself out of the equation when a friend told me they appreciated me or that they liked my something I wrote. I was taking myself out of it because as a friend and writer, I’m supposed to be good at both. To some extent, they’re my job and I shouldn’t be thanked for doing my job. I also didn’t want to take credit for something that God put in me – it’s not me they should be thanking, you know? But as I was tapped because someone thought I was passionate, inspiring, and a leader – someone who I’d only met that weekend and as a result – I was forced to reconcile with the fact that there might be some truth to some things people have complimented me on. And maybe I am affecting people and things – even now. I began to realize that there is a way to acknowledge my impact and abilities I have without becoming proud. 

We constantly plan for futures in which we will be impactful and create change but underestimate the degree to which we are already creating impact in our resolve, in our speech, in our passion and in the simple fact that we seek change to begin with. Maybe you don’t have someone to silently tap your shoulder and let you know that you’re great and destined for greatness. But I am telling you – whether you’re trying to be a teacher, a doctor, an artist or a leader of any kind, there is something intrinsically unique in you. It is a formula God made specifically for you that is not in anyone else. It is not wrong or arrogant to acknowledge your power and the formula God blessed you with. It’s wrong not to be aware of it and to dim your own light. Let your light shine and illuminate the path in front of you, and do say thank you when someone takes and makes time to encourage you.