I got some life advice from an unlikely hero last week. This hero was my friend’s dad, who introduced me to the Concept of Unattainability. Now I have no idea if this concept exists in sociology or psychology (I’m sure it does though), but everything we talked about to define this concept didn’t come from us listening to a lecturer, but came from us having learned from our life experiences. This concept discusses how we, humans, are more attracted to things that we perceptually can’t have, or things that are unattainable. We love a challenge, we value things that we believe won’t come easy. It’s everywhere: we value precious stones because they’re hard to get, expensive clothes because they’re hard to afford, and we ESPECIALLY value people that don’t want or care for us because they’re harder to “crack” (take that as you will). This seems to be an innate tendency that many of us – if not all of us- have, and I thought it would be a good idea to analyze this concept further and talk about some negatives it holds.
As we humans perceive the unattainable as something of more relative value, we then proceed to act in accordance with this perception. The problem that emerges from this, is that we begin to act based on our false perception of something rather than on learned knowledge. It’s like that time I asked for a pair of the first type of Vapormax’s for Christmas. I was so stoked to get it, so told everyone in my family that that was the one and only thing on my wish list. Now the Vapormax’s were over $200, and I knew that was asking for a lot, but I asked anyways. In my defense, I loved the way they looked, however even more than that, I was captured by the hype of them. I mean, everybody wanted them. Fast forward to me opening my present on Christmas Day and trying the shoes on – they were very uncomfortable. Tbh, I’ve only worn them about 7 times in the past 2 years. Ultimately I put a dent in my older sister’s pockets to wear some shoes 7 times. This is the damage the Concept of Unattainability can do. It’ll have you buy into something that was never worth the purchase – ultimately leaving you discontent and regretful.
Now the worst is when you’re chasing a girl or guy you thought you couldn’t have. You chase and chase as long as it’s a challenge, but the second they chase back, the fire is gone. You valued them as an idea, but never valued them as a person to begin with. Now you feel discontent and regretful, not to mention the person you chased now feels played and disrespected.
Being obsessed with something you can’t have – or at least can’t have at the time – also brings on a lot of unwanted anxiety. Challenges are cool and all, but when you start losing a bunch of these challenges, it can really get in your head – so much so, that it can skew your perception of yourself. You valued the item so much, and convinced yourself how much better you’d be with it. The only problem is that you CANNOT have it, so now you are in extreme simp mode, pitying yourself because you unknowingly equated your worth to your acquisition of the item – bad move bruh. Remember, you’re amazing, you don’t need the item, reward, or person to measure your status or greatness.
It’s a waste of time to tell humans to stop chasing challenges. I mean, we should challenge ourselves. However, all I can say to advise the chasers out there is to make sure you are chasing for the right reasons and that you know yourself, and stay true to yourself the entire way – win or lose.
Continue reading part 2 – For the People Who Are Too Attainable…(click here)
