Happy New Year! I’m hoping we brought increased faith, vision, anticipation, and a host of other positive characteristics to the new year. And what I’m praying for is that we’ve left behind our grudges and instead, have embraced forgiveness. Not only because it is what Christ mandates us to do but because it ultimately does us no good. I know people – and I’m sure you do too – who have been holding grudges against family and friends for things that they either no longer remember or remember all too well. I have been there myself and I understand the urge to cling to that anger, especially if it is justified but for the sake of your mental health and peace of mind. However, I urge you to forgive whomever you need to because the person a grudge has the greatest toll on is whomever is holding it. 

We’ve all been hurt – we’re human and that’s, unfortunately, apart of life. But what isn’t healthy is holding onto the hurt as it breeds anger and thus, bitterness. There are some people that have hurt us and apologized and yet, we’re still holding a grudge against them or holding onto the pain they left us in. There are some of us that have never recovered because we’ve never heard the words “I’m sorry” and sadly, never will. But whether you are the latter or the former, I have something to share with you and that is that with or without them, emphasis on without, you can let go of the grudge you’re holding and the pain it’s causing.

To clarify, forgiving them and letting go of grudges isn’t for their benefit nor does it mean that what they’ve done is justified. It simply means that you recognize the burden that you have been bearing and are making an effort to let it go and put the grudge and all the pain and unhappiness that stems from it behind you.

Beyond the inner turmoil that holding onto a grudge creates, it disrupts our relationship with God. When we are in pain and hurting, it can be difficult to take accountability for our own shortcomings, but we’re going to do it anyway – try something new. None of us are perfect. We are inherently flawed and just as there are people in this world that have hurt us, similarly, there are people that we have hurt and things we have done that we are not proud of. 

Now that we’ve established all our inherent imperfections, I have a question. How, then, can you ask God for the forgiveness of your sins and expect Him to forgive you when you refuse to forgive others? Do you have the right? We like to compare offenses oftentimes. Like what you did may not have been as bad as what someone did to you, but to receive forgiveness, you must forgive. 

I leave you with this – a Martin Luther King Jr. quote that is one of my favorites: 

“I have decided to stick to love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

The year has literally just begun, and to enter it with old wounds and grudges is not only starting off on the wrong foot, it is not the way to live. Dr. King committed himself to work that put him in daily contact with death threats, imprisonment, racism, and was willing to die for the cause – which he eventually did. Enduring violence and hatred day in and day out, even he recognized the futility of hate and embraced the power of love – the inherent freedom that comes with rising above that which exists to keep you down. 

I’m not asking anything of you that I, myself, have not overcome. Nor am I suggesting that letting go, especially of pain, is a simple task or quick process. But as someone who has come out on the other side, I do promise you that it is liberating and well worth the pursuit.