The Defining Series was launched to amplify the experiences and testimonies of members of our community. For the month of March, UN-ASSOCIATED is dedicating its content, including The Defining Series, to the women of our community with the theme for this month being “Defined by His Design”. For this edition of The Defining Series, women of God from our community shared their insights into what it means to be daughters of God and the unique nature of their relationship to God as women.
Editor-in-Chief, Danielle Clayton, sat down with San Francisco native Aviana Joiner, to reflect on learning to abide in God’s love and the treasures to find in building sisterhood and Christian community.
D: This is the Defining Series: Women’s Month Edition. My name is Danielle Clayton and you are?
A: Aviana Joiner.
D: And where are you from?
A: Sacramento born and raised.
D: Jumping right in, what does being a daughter of God mean to you?
A: That’s such a good question because I hadn’t figure out what it meant until recently. I had my second come to Jesus moment in the month of July, which was me coming home and figuring out what I wanted to do with my career. God set me down and told me all of my inheritances and that He’s always loved me regardless of whether I accomplish something – with or without the degree, whether I had a business or not. Being a daughter of God is knowing you have someone who loves you dearly and deeper than you could ever imagine and I love it here.
D: Amen to that. Going off of what you just said about loving it here, what would you say is your favorite thing about being a woman?
A: As women, sometimes we can be seen as less than and not even in the sense that we are less than men. The Bible describes us as the weaker vessel, but in Genesis, He also describes us the way He describes Himself with the word, ezer, which is Greek for helper. That is the same way He describes the Holy Spirit, so the fact that He describes the Holy Spirit, who is such a powerful presence, and women that way makes being a woman an honor. There’s an extra layer of strength and grace that comes with femininity and both men and women are made in the image of God. We just have the nurturing side of God, the loving side of God, the helping side of God. We’re a different version of Him. We also create things like He does.
D: It is so interesting that you mentioned that women have the ability to create like God and have a nurturing side because that has also come up in my other Defining Series conversations, especially the component about that creation not just being confined to motherhood. The serviceability of women and our instinct of checking in on others, namely after our families, husbands, and children is a common thread in tandem with the nurturing nature of women. I think men and women have this instinct, but it presents differently. For example, with that instinct comes an emotional consciousness and distinct cognizance of both who is in need and how to meet them where they’re at and show up for them in the manner that is most meaningful to them.
We also joked about men being more solution-based whereas oftentimes, we, as women, are not looking for a solution per se but to share what we’re thinking and what’s going on in our heads. For me, I share to release something from my thoughts that I have been overthinking and to enable myself to make room for something new and more productive. I usually know what I need to do, but I can’t really begin to process it and let it go until I talk about it out loud instead of letting it fester in my head as I have done in the past.
A: I agree 1000% and to the point you made about women having a deeper knowing, I genuinely believe that our intuition is Spirit-led. So, as women, being that we’re able to create, I think that enables us to be very in-tune with the Holy Spirit, which lives in all of us. It’s like you said, we can create spaces because the Holy Spirit knows what each of us are in need of and can guide us to create spaces for healing, for overthinking, etc and give us peace.
D: How important would you say spiritual sisterhood and fellowship is to you?
A: It’s everything. I didn’t realize how important it was until after a period of isolation when God was working with me. Now He’s bringing forth the community through Bible study, and people at my local church, and now, I serve on the young adults ministry at my church. He’s bringing people around me who are like-minded, and who have the same zeal for God that I do. I truly believe fellowshipping and sisterhood is what keeps us going. We understand what we go through and our emotions. Our brothers in Christ are always necessary and always needed for covering, but being around like-minded women is heartwarming. It makes the difference and provides a deep layer of comfort. As someone who grew up in a family full of women, with sisters and a single mom, I understand how important it is to have good relationships with women. I can see how healing it can be to have this sisterhood in Christ.
D: I longed for a long time to have Christian community with people my age. I am so grateful to have it now and to be meeting women in different places on their faith journey. It’s affirming to see someone a bit more mature in their faith than me and equally as affirming to see someone who was exactly where you are because you have the experience and insight to encourage them. I think it’s beautiful to see young men, especially young Black men being able to come together and fellowship as well and to see that bloom because just as us women have a unique experience, so do they as men and can speak to one another’s experience. That’s the beauty of having a witness because it is an opportunity for God but also for all of us to be empowered and to be encouraged.
A: I definitely agree. In this season, I am being surrounded by more Black men of God specifically as well. The work that God is doing is amazing. I also feel like they offer a perspective and insight I have never considered. It’s so hard to explain because I’ll be talking to our Young Adults Leader, saying this and that and he’ll look at me and say one sentence it is the most profound thing.
D: That’s how I feel about my dad because I think in the way that we bring a nurturing and caring side, and I don’t mean to say we’re illogical, but they’re a lot more straightforward in their thinking. He’ll say something and I’m like, why didn’t I think of that? As many people know, my dad and I are very close and he’s my spiritual leader and any time I am looking for insight, I’m going to him. Sometimes, he answers questions I haven’t even asked and having him as a reference point has been extremely valuable in helping me to see faith exemplified.
Shifting gears a bit, do you have either a favorite woman in the Bible or a favorite example of a woman of faith in the Bible? Or is there a story that you think about and refer to often?
A: I love this question! For me, the woman in the Bible that is my champion is Abigail and not a lot of people talk about her. Abigail was a married woman, was doing her thing and her husband was foolish. King David was going to kill him and the husbands of the house did not tell her husband, which at the time, was a crazy thing to say. The servants didn’t go to the husband, but they went to her because they knew she was wise and she made a plan to bring him food and beg for their lives and she found favor in the sight of David because of that. Her character spoke volumes at a time where women did not speak without their husbands, so the fact that they went to her and she went to the king was powerful. She was a woman of integrity and clothes herself with strength and dignity like it says in Proverbs 31, a woman whose children will call her blessed. She is the embodiment of a Proverbs 31 woman to me and she married David and moved up.
D: Amen! I have to reread 1 Samuel again. As we are nearing the end of our questions, knowing everything you know now, is there anything you would tell younger Aviana who was new to the faith or enduring difficulty?
A: That’s a fantastic question. For me, coming to Christ was an unlearning process. I had to unravel before God could put me together. There’s a Bible verse where Jesus is talking to the Pharisees. He tells them that you clean the inside of the cup before you clean the outside of the cup. God really cleans out your heart of all things that are not like Him, but that’s not work you do in your own might. He will do that for you. I tried to strive for God’s love not knowing He’s actively pouring that out. So once you are able to unravel beautifully and allow yourself to experience love in new ways, God is love and love always wins, so extend grace to yourself. I was really hard on myself before the second regeneration of who I am and I know a lot of people struggle with that, with being imperfect and feeling shame because of what God did for us. But we don’t do things for God. When we can just abide in His love and rest in His arms on the altar, it stops the resistance. Because trying to strive for God’s love causes resistance and you’re just getting in the way. I was getting in the way. People kept telling me to trust God and I didn’t know what that looked like. I would get anxious trying to trust someone I didn’t know, so I would say get to know God and God is the Word. The Word shows you His character so that you can trust Him. I would say remain steadfast and allow yourself to unravel and unlearn.
D: Any words of encouragement women coming to the faith and grappling with some of the things you’ve struggled with and overcame on your journey?
A: Keep going. Regardless of what comes up, keep going. It’s like John 13:7 says, you may not understand now, but you will later. You may have gone through difficult times, but hindsight is always 20/20. God will always give you the revelation. You will see in time. When you’re walking through what you’re going through, which may not be easy, know there is light at the end of tunnel. God is not of condemnation, pain and suffering. I’ll say this, the oil, the anointing that you have on you – olive oil can only be made through the crushing of olives, so when you experience a crushing, your oil, your anointing, your ability is being purified, truly refined by fire so that God can remove all the impurities and it’s difficult. But God is more than enough to get you through it. He will complete a good work in you () and He will not bring you to something to get you through it.
D: Just to conclude, I just thought about what my father said about pruning. We think about pruning as God removing that which He cannot use in us and is not viable, but it is also God taking that which is good and making it great. We think about our shortcomings a lot, but there is good in us even if we can’t find it in ourselves because God made us and He is good. There is always something good He can find in us.
