“We had a great time. I’ll be praying for you.”

I remember the night I heard my first Kendrick Lamar song. My big sister called me over and asked if I’d ever heard of this artist. She put the earphones in my ears and pressed play. The song was called “Cut You Off”, and the rest was history. Kendrick became my favorite artist before he was your favorite artist (I’d bet). I remember when calling him the greatest rapper of all time made people look at me sideways. I stood my ground though. The crazy thing is…time really testified to my statements. I saw my favorite artist go from underground to literally receive worldwide acclamation. “Good Kid MAAD City” changed my life. “To Pimp a Butterfly” changed my life. I’ve never met Kendrick Lamar, but I always dreamt of the day I’d be able to sit down with him and J. Cole and chop it up about life. Growing up, rappers were my role models. Not the stereotypical ones, but the ones like Kendrick and J. Cole. These were the ones that had real wisdom. Their music gave me self-esteem and drive. It made me dream. 

“…I told you I was Christian, but just not today, I transformed, praying to the trees.”

I heard this line in Kendrick’s song, “Mother I Sober”. It’s a 6-minute song. Many would argue it’s not fair to minimize the song to just one line, but this line stuck out like a sore thumb to me. My favorite rapper confessed he wasn’t a Christian. He wore a buss down crown of thorns on his album cover, then said he wasn’t a Christian. To be fair, he never confessed he was one on any song I know of. I imagined he did though. I remember listening to songs like “Faith” and “His Pain”. I knew neither of those songs confirmed his belief in Jesus, but I wanted them to. I wanted to believe that my favorite rapper believed the same thing as me, so I told myself that. 

For so long I looked to Kendrick, and rappers alike, similarly to how one might view an older brother. They were someone you look up to and someone I could learn from. That perspective worked when I was 14. But now I’m 24. Things have changed. Now, I am a devout Christian. Now, I am the Executive Director of a Christian organization. Now, I am a preacher. Now, I am a youth leader at my church. Things have changed. I am the big brother now. I don’t pray to the trees like Kendrick, I pray to the Father in Jesus’ name. That’s not changing. After listening to Kendrick’s new album, I can say 2 things. First, it was a work of art. Second, I’ve come to a realization. Some people hold temporary roles in our lives, and that is how it was meant to be.

Kendrick is still someone I consider to be the greatest rapper of all time. But he is no longer the big brother I perceived him to be. He isn’t who I go to for wisdom. We do not believe the same thing. The dreams I’ve had of having a cool conversation with Him are now replaced by nightmares of a heated argument about spirituality and religion. I think he is very wise. But, he doesn’t have the wisdom I now seek after. I’ve been disillusioned, but now it’s something I accept.

People in our lives assume the roles we give them, and they ought to have them for appointed times. Some are there forever, and others are there for a season. I’m not sure who the people are who hold seasonal roles in your life. Maybe it’s a girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, or colleague. My advice to you is this: nothing good comes out of trying to make the season last forever.

You don’t have to deny that there were good times. You don’t have to deny that your life felt better in that season. You don’t have to deny anything. 

“We had a great time. I’ll be praying for you.”

Scripture Reading: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8