I started graduate school almost two months ago, and it has been demanding, to say the least. I remember fondly waiting on God, finding the program where He wanted me, applying to school and getting in, and beginning the semester with excitement. But truthfully, everything after that has been anything, but anticipated. I did the research, I knew the length of the program and the projects that need to be completed in order for me to graduate, but everything I knew about writing and about myself has been challenged, and I’ll be honest, initially, I did not handle the new challenges well. 

Instead of applying what I was learning to what I already knew, I was bewildered. I assumed I was in the wrong place and questioned my very place in the program. In one of my classes, I received feedback from my teacher challenging me to write in a way that I have always intentionally avoided, partly because I never thought I could do it but also because I did not know how to meld it with my writing, but the truth is I never really tried. I was reading my teacher’s comments to my father, questioning my ability to even write, and I was at the beginning of a pity party for myself and the talent I was assuming I must’ve lacked based on my teacher’s notes. But my father didn’t let me dwell in the negativity any longer. My perspective was entirely wrong, as he reminded me, illuminating that that’s what I’m in grad school for. Firstly, but more importantly, just because my teacher was asking something new and different from me does not mean I am any less of a writer. 

Rather, she is merely trying to show me another way to write, but even with this clarity, I still found myself struggling and feeling behind the curve because the truth is I went into graduate school thinking it would be like undergrad and that the same methods and tactics that I used then would work now, but it doesn’t work like that. I asked God for something new, and that is precisely what He gave to me. And I’ve struggled navigating this new plane I am now on and I assumed there was something wrong with that or that I just did it belong.

However, I am learning that I cannot be whomever it is God is trying to mold me into without struggling and without encountering something unexpected, but also without yielding to God’s will and without relinquishing control.

Everything I have learned has brought me thus far, but to go where God is leading me, which I am purposed in my heart to do, I must be willing to learn and be molded even more, to be humbled on the journey for His glory and greater purpose and we have to be okay with that (Isaiah 43:18-19).

As my father illuminated to me also, we have to stop assuming if we are encountering or experiencing difficulty or challenges, that it isn’t of God and that something is wrong, because it is simply not true. God is not any less sovereign or good because He allows difficulty in our life because the difficulty, the trials and tribulations, serve a greater purpose than we have the foresight to recognize. As Denzel Washington once said, ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship. Encountering a challenge does not mean that we have done something wrong. In fact, I am finding it to mean that God has greater things for me and in order for God to be able to place my feet on higher ground, I must embrace the test, the discomfort and uncharted territory. Amidst the storm, there is a call, as my father has said many times and in order to be who God has called me to be and who He desires for me to be, we must, like Peter, keep our eyes on Christ (Matthew 14:28-29) and in accepting the call, recognize the privilege it is to even be called on by Him. 

We are not on this journey to remain unchanged and unchallenged. We can be of no use to God if we are averse to challenges, to growth and to difficulty, and certainly if we cannot embrace it and count it all joy as James encourages us to (James 1:2-4).

Through this process which is far from comfortable, because we are not here for comfort and cannot grow in our comfort zone, we are, instead, transformed, ever emulating the light of Christ and reflecting His image in the world. I thank God for growth, for the uncomfortable situations in which I served as a vessel for His glory and I pray to remain a vessel, to continue to be molded and transformed for the advancement of the Kingdom, and to be assured and affirmed that all things work together for His good (Romans 8:28).

Scripture Reading: Isaiah 43:18-19; Matthew 14:28-29; James 1:2-4; Romans 8:28