The Defining Series was launched to amplify the experiences and testimonies of members of our community. For the month of March, UN-ASSOCIATED is dedicating its content, including The Defining Series, to the women of our community with the theme for this month being “Defined by His Design”. For this edition of The Defining Series, women of God from our community shared their insights into what it means to be daughters of God and the unique nature of their relationship to God as women.
Editor-in-Chief Danielle Clayton sat down with Ghanaian native Michelle-Irene Asiedu and Un-Associated editor to reflect on the impact growing up in a Christianity community and home had on her relationship with God and the advantage of being a woman in and of God.
Danielle Clayton: This is The Defining Series: Women’s Month Edition. My name is Danielle Clayton and you are?
Michelle-Irene Asiedu: Michelle-Irene Asiedu.
D: Where are you from?
M: I am from Ghana, but I have migrated to Canada.
D: What does being a daughter of God mean to you?
M: It means emulating who Christ is, especially loving like Him and putting Him at the forefront. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize it also means being the bigger person. It’s also about making sure I identify with that first. We are a lot of things. I’m a daughter, a niece, granddaughter, student, worker, Black, etc., but first and foremost, I am a child of God – a daughter of God.
D: I’m curious because in your list of identifiers, you mentioned you’re Black. I know in Africa it’s not really a thing because everyone is the same, so you do you think moving to Canada or rather, a place everyone did not look the same made that delineation necessary?
M: In Africa, it’s not even a thing. [Laughs] Definitely. I went to a Predominantly White Institution and of course, you hear these terms because of social media. We knew were Black but it just wasn’t a thing. It’s when I came to Canada that I started to identify as Black. I wasn’t Black until I came here.
D: It’s almost a forced identification because it’s apparent that I’m Black of course but then you come to North America and the identification is a lot more prevalent.
M: Yeah and it becomes something you identify yourself with because even when you’re applying to schools, you’re asked if you’re Black, Hispanic, etc. I don’t think it’s one of the first adjectives I would have used to describe myself prior to moving to Canada.
D: Going off the topic of identity, I find lately that when I’m navigating spaces, I don’t know if I should mention upfront that I’m Christian and not because I’m ashamed of it or trying to hide it but because I’m trying to find a way for it to come up authentically as opposed to going out of my way to bring it up or mention it. Have you had experiences like that?
M: I actually think it was easier for me because where I grew up, everyone was religious. It was a rarity to find atheists, agnostics or even Buddhism. My country is Christian and Muslim, so it’s almost the first thing you ask because you want to know if someone is like you and can relate to you. It’s just a part of our culture. We know the night before New Year’s, either you’re Muslim or you’re going to church. But I definitely can see what you mean because coming to Canada, it’s not the first thing that jumps out of my mouth but I find it easier than people who have grown in Canada.
D: What was it like growing up in a Christian community?
M: It was good and now, I see that I was very sheltered. Christianity and its principles were embedded into our culture. A good example of what I mean would be fornication. It’s a Christian principles but it’s also cultural and because we’ve been a country of faith for so long, they expect you to uphold abstinence in public. It was a good experience that taught me so when I came here, I wasn’t trying to find myself. I was just looking to establish myself within what I already was.
D: Growing up in your culture, were there women that guided you in your faith or women that you looked to as you established yourself and grew in your faith?
M: Yes, my mom. We are very, very close and she is strong in her faith. Both of my parents were raised in Christian families and came together and had a family of their own. Because she’s been a Christian from the beginning, she also had women of faith that she looked up to, so that informed my faith as well. My dad’s sisters, mom’s sisters. Like I said, I was very sheltered and being an only child as well, I think they tried to look for people that they knew would leave the impact that they wanted on me, so yes, I had a lot of women in my life. I actually think I had more examples of women in faith than men in faith.
D: I think what you said about being sheltered is so interesting because I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how growing up as a Christian insulated me from certain realities. I was thinking about something my dad said about how when you’re a child, your parents tell you not to do certain things and when you become an adult, you begin to understand why they were telling you not to do those things and what the consequences of doing those things are either in someone else or sometimes for yourself. I’m grateful because I learned a lot of things from wisdom as opposed to experience. I’ve been thinking a lot lately of the privileges of this faith. Thinking about what you were just sharing about women role models and coming into your own as a woman, what would you say is your favorite thing about being a woman within the faith or generally?
M: That’s a good question and I say that because I’ve never heard it. There’s always a focus on the downside of being a woman. I think that we get to have a different experience with God. Of course, we’re all children of God and men have their own relationship with God but I think we have a specific relationship with God that men cannot relate to. For example, I have a really good relationship with my dad and you know, there is something about girls and their relationships with their fathers and guys and their relationships with their mother. I saw God as a friend, father and protector and I didn’t have to live through life to come to know Him as those things first because I had a concept of a father being someone you could rely on and talk to. That’s my favorite thing about being a Christian woman; we have a very special relationship with God. I can genuinely say that He is my best friend or someone I can see protecting me or covering me. I feel like a little girl in His presence; I am able to come in contact with my inner child in the presence of God. I really treasure that part of being a Christian woman.
D: I like what you said about your dad because I feel the exact same way. My dad exemplified the Christian walk for me and I feel like our relationship mirrors my relationship with God so if I need advice or insights into something, I’m going to ask my dad because he’s going to direct me back to God anyway. Thinking about something you said earlier and about women being mentors to us, how important is spiritual sisterhood and fellowship to you?
M: It’s so important especially having grown up as an only child without female friends and figuring things out on my own, especially in the faith. Being older now, though, and having friends I can genuinely talk to about the Bible with who also get excited about it is something I wouldn’t change for the world. God said community was important and especially within the church community, where we see males as leaders, having fellow women to guide us and relate to our experience as women is different than how a male pastor or leader may instruct me. Having sisters in the church has definitely helped me to understand things from a perspective closer to mine. I don’t know what I would do without it and now that I’m living on my own, away from family and especially, since the world seems to think Christianity is geared against women and not for them. It’s very important to find people that feed us and understand God was and is with us and not against us.
D: Thinking about the Bible, is there a woman in the Bible whose story you love to read or who you relate the most to?
M: That’s a good question. I don’t know about you, but I feel like growing up, we would read a lot about men in the Bible. When I was in Sunday School, instead of paying attention, I loved reading about Ruth and Esther just because they were the easiest to access. I couldn’t decide between the both of them because the Bible offers a queen like Esther and Ruth who farms on the side of Boaz’s farm like the poor people did. I think it’s nice that the Bible offers two different perspectives. I would also say Mary because her yes was immediate and there was no doubt. Her yes was immediate and I know I struggle with that. Especially thinking about what it meant to be pregnant at that time, trusting God’s plan for Joseph to marry her and Esther also did something dangerous and her obedience was profound. We see how lives can be impacted when you decide to do what God has asked you to do. Also for Ruth and all three women, they were in foreign territory in their own ways, with Ruth physically being in a foreign land. She had to go somewhere with her mother-in-law and we see her truly emulate the principles of marriage and what it means to leave your father’s house, protect your new home and trust God that everything will be okay. I started to relate to them and break them down to see how I could find myself within them and how that would make me a woman after God’s own heart.
D: Thinking about where you were at the beginning of your faith and where you are now, what would you say to younger Michelle Irene?
M: Allow God to be who He is. Growing up in church, of course I heard about God. I formed my opinions about who He was and stuck by them until I left home, came to Canada and was on my own. There’s a song I really like called In Over My Head and some of the words are, “I’m standing knee deep/ Would you please come and tear down the boxes I have tried to put you in/ and teach me who you are again?” It’s a plea to God and that’s what this time has taught me. I knew God and yes, I gave my life to Christ a while ago and I read my Bible and pray but living by myself and experience God in my bedroom, I have discovered parts of God that I didn’t even know existed and I wish I had experienced that earlier. I would tell younger Michelle-Irene to allow God to teach you who He is instead of just relying on what I heard, not that it was wrong because it wasn’t, but there were depths I could not access because I was limited in experience.
D: If you could encourage a woman of God in whatever aspect of the journey they’re in, what would you say?
M: Allow God to love you and know God rather than know of God. Even after I came to Christ, moved here by myself and discovered Him in a new way, I think we find it difficult to reconcile the idea of an imperfect person and a perfect God who wants to love you anyway. In a world that has so much to say about women and God’s opinion of women, it’s important to open up yourself to be loved by God. When I say love, I say love in action in terms of how He speaks to you, how He shows himself to you, how He blesses you. God doesn’t just want us to live a life here on Earth, He wants us to live a full life with Christ, so open yourself up to the opportunity and look for people like Christ and spend time with God as if you’re building a relationship with someone you’re talking to. Allow yourself to experience God fully and completely because if not, what are we really doing? I have such a relationship with God that no one can tell me who He is because I know Him for myself. No one can tell me I’m not worthy because I know whose child I am and I would like everyone to experience that.
