The Defining Series was launched to amplify the experiences and testimonies of members of our community. In honor of the Un-Associated 5th Anniversary, we have brought back the community initiative to continue to share stories, triumphs, and challenges as a way to illuminate the journeys of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We have more in common than we realize, especially as young believers in Christ, and The Defining Series serves as a vehicle to connect us through the common thread of God’s presence in our lives and the myriad of ways in which He makes Himself known to us.

Editor-in-Chief Danielle Clayton sat down with Destiny Nash, a native of Fort Worth, Texas, who is unassociated with doubt.

Danielle Clayton: I am Danielle Clayton. This is The Defining Series, and you are?

Destiny Nash: Destiny Nash.

Danielle: And what are you unassociated with?

Destiny: I am unassociated with doubt.

Danielle: Can you explain a little bit about why you chose that word or what your relationship to that word has been?

D: I would say I’m choosing the word because I know that for a majority of my life doubt has always been that thing that has always got in my way of what I knew that God was calling, so that’s why I’m unassociated with it.

Danielle: Is it a doubt of yourself of the circumstance or does it depend – is it situational?

D: I think it varies but I know for the major ones, it’s usually doubt in what He’s called for me to do and doubt in who He is to me.

Danielle: Can you give me kind of a situation where that presented itself? Because sometimes, difficulties like that come up again in the form of the same situation over and over again. So was there a specific moment or situation where you kept finding yourself in the same situation and doubting the same thing?

D: I was going through a divorce at the time and I knew that God was healing me, but He was also calling me to walk into some things and I didn’t feel like I had the confidence or the mindset to even go forth in it. So, I doubted it a lot just because of the circumstance that I recently got out of. He had to keep reminding me and I think even now being out of that situation, it’s still sometimes a stumbling block. It’ll [the doubt] will try to remind me “You went through this, there’s no way you’re gonna be able to fully walk into this thing confidently.” So, sometimes, it does end up repeating itself.

Danielle: I think I understand that because, for me, my struggle was insecurity, and it’s a similar thing. I think something that I’ve learned is that it’s not a straight process where you just are over it one day and it never bothers you again. But it does ebb and flow like you were just saying. Has there been a moment recently or in this journey that you’re on of being unassociated with doubt where you handle the received confirmation that it doesn’t have as much of a hold on you as it did before?

D: It tends to be what I was saying earlier, that it becomes a stumbling block, so I’ll get past the fact that the Lord has told me to do this, then I do it and come against a stumbling block of just doubting, “Are you sure you want me to do it though? Am I qualified for this? Do you sure I don’t need to go to school?” Those types of doubts would come in, so sometimes it even looks differently, so it might not have come up the same way as you were talking about as far as insecurity goes. But sometimes I think that can even probably be the root of [doubt] – just having that insecurity where you’re just used to people telling you that you couldn’t do it and you kind of just adapt to that mindset.

Danielle: In a moment where you have overcome it and where you have been like, “Okay God, I believe this thing that you’re telling me to I’m gonna do this thing”, what does it feel like when you’re able to do what God told you to do? But also when you’re able to feel like peace and confirmation, what does it feel? When you’re finally able to push past the doubt and do the thing and believe God that you’re supposed to do the thing, what does that feel like? I’m sure it’s relief on some level, but maybe it’s something more.

D: I don’t know. It’s a comforting type of feeling because I tend to always remember where I was mostly mentally and emotionally and then, I think about it now and I’m like, Wow, it’s comforting to know that all the doubt or the insecurities of fears, the words, the anxieties like “wow, you literally fought all those things for me and now I can be able to walk into really just anything and know that you’re already there and you’ve already spoken a word over me.”

Danielle: Are there any scriptures that are of particular comfort to you when you want to give in to the doubt? Or is there a Scripture text that just has helped you in this journey you’re on? It could be more than one.

D: There’s one specifically in Chapter 43 and I love that Scripture. It’s actually the Scripture that the Lord took me to when I was going through the divorce and everything and the significance of this is like Him reminding me of who I am in Him. Because you get out of a situation like that, relationally, family-wise whatever, it could tend to discourage you as far as how you were secure before. But Isaiah 43, really, the whole chapter helped me but I’m gonna just give you the first three verses. It says but This is what the Lord says, who created you, who formed you Israel. Do not fear for I have redeemed. I have summoned you by name. You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. And when you pass through the rivers, they will not sleep over you when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze for I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt for your ransom question. Simple in your stead since you are precious and honored in my because I love you.” Yeah, That’s all I needed to know, that’s definitely been like my reminder.

Danielle: That kind of reminds me of this Scripture, “He that began a good work in you shall complete it until the day of Jesus Christ,” and I love that. I love the scripture that you just read because I love how God never ceases to remind us in the Bible that He’s with us. There have to be hundreds of different ways in the Bible that God tells us that and I think that’s so comforting. Even if we make a mistake, even if we totally misheard what He told us, and do something completely different, there’s still providence, there are still provisions for us because God always knew that we were going to do that. Something that my dad said that orients me is that the detour becomes the path, so even if I take a right where I should take on the left, this is my new path and God doesn’t love me any less for this new path that I’m on. In fact, He knew that I was going to be on this path the entire time, it’s me that didn’t know where the path was leading.

Da:  To bring it back to doubt for a moment, how do you know when God is telling you something? How do you receive that message? And how do you begin to really accept that God wants you to be the one to do it? Does that require prayer or silence? How do you get from over the hurdle of not feeling sure and what God wants to do to say to yourself, with certainty “Okay, this is what I have to do?“

D: It usually takes for him to tell me a couple of times, and I have to recite it to myself. He’ll tell me “I need you to speak it over your life,” and it just starts there because one thing that I know for sure is that no matter what He’s called for us to do, if we don’t believe in Him, and who He is as our Father, as our friend, as our guide, then we’re not gonna be able to believe anything that He says as far as what He’s calling for us to do. Then the next step, as far as us, is also believing that as sovereign and holy and great as He is, He’s also given us a part of Him. The Holy Spirit gives us that boldness and that courage. He gives us the power and authority that we need to walk this path and in knowing that we are already fully equipped for everything He’s called for us to do already. He has to keep reminding me, “You are a part of me like you are mine now. So with that being said, because I’m strong and I’m mighty and I’m holy, you’re now all these things because you have accepted me.“

Danielle: What would present you, having experienced everything that you have experienced, tell yourself in the past?

D: Trust God because He’s trustworthy. Simply put.

Danielle: And is there anything else that you would like to say?

D: I know I didn’t share a lot about it but it’s also part of my testimony. Something recently happened and I know I shared a little bit about being divorced. I got married at 21 and I got divorced by 24. I would say that for some reason there’s something about love and relationships that I feel like God has placed on my life and He ended up giving me the desire back to get married. He told me, “You’re going to get married again and it’s going to be ordained by me” and I’m like, “I don’t want it. Lord.” A couple of months after that I ended up meeting him, and now we’re engaged.

Danielle: Thank you for sharing. I didn’t want to pry about your divorce because I didn’t know how much of it you wanted to share, but I really appreciate that. I think that’s a beautiful thing because I feel like, especially in society today, there’s so much rhetoric against marriage and God bringing men and women together. So, that’s really beautiful here and as somebody who’s waiting and on my quest, it’s beautiful to see when God can show us that He still performs miracles and that love is still very much a thing to have and to possess in today’s world. So congratulations to you.