We all grew up, hopefully, hearing that we are special. And in the event that you didn’t, I am here to tell you that you are. Truly. You have a skillset that I lack and vice versa, and that’s a good thing. Everyone wasn’t designed to do the same thing or be the same person. In the same way that no two snowflakes are the same, no two people are the same, not even twins. If we know this truth, that we are all different, gifted with distinct purposes and perceptions, why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to accomplish things immediately after our peers when we have different paths entirely?

The thing about envying the path that other people are on and their success is that, at some point, you have to forge ahead, especially if you have any desire to achieve success of your own. Constantly comparing your trajectory to someone else’s is unhealthy and will become overwhelming for you because you’re blurring the lines – of your own path and theirs.

Despite the inherently competitive nature of society, there is a way for you to be happy for other people without making it a competition and forging a connection to your own success that just isn’t there. If someone you know succeeds, it has no bearing on your own success, or whether or not you will achieve success. It simply means that at that moment in time, their work is paying off and God has decided to bless them. It doesn’t mean your time isn’t coming, or that you are inadequate.

The first key is being able to separate anyone else’s path from your own. If I’m a writer, which I think I am, but unsure of what’s next, and my friend gets into law school, that is great for her. But, it doesn’t make me deficient as a writer. In fact, it has nothing to do with me in that it isn’t my path.  Everyone’s path has its own curves and even detours sometimes, so comparing the rate at which things are happening to your friend, to yourself, is not only unfair to you, but also, futile.

Another major key that pertains to success, in whatever form that takes for you is, is pace. Attempting to model your life after anyone else’s won’t fulfill you. So, you owe it to yourself to move at the pace at which you’re comfortable with and not the pace you believe everyone else is moving at. Two things that we tend to forget about pace: (1) We all had to crawl before we could walk and walk before we could run. (2) Just because you don’t arrive when others do, doesn’t mean you’re late and even if you believe that, remember, life is not a race but a journey. Getting there is more important than WHEN you get there. You will indeed, reach your definition of success – in your own time.