Grief is something that I became familiar with at a young age, but I never really learned how to grieve the loss of a loved one. Mourning can often feel like a thousand emotions rolled into one. Sadness and shock, followed by the many questions you may ask yourself. You try to replay memories in order to offset the heaviness you feel. Grief is just one of those things we can’t hide from. I remember coming to a point where I became numb, expecting death to throw me a right hook every chance it could. All it takes is for you to experience loss one time, and the enemy will use it to grab a hold of you. He might use it to spiral you into depression or anxiety. It’s possible that anger or bitterness can settle into your heart, and eventually you can lose sight of God’s goodness in the midst of your sorrow.
In the past, I’d be bogged down for days with horrible sleep and an empty stomach due to a loss or the anniversary of one. At some point, I had to be honest about the roots grief had taken and let God in to pull them out. It feels fine after you’ve prayed and left it in God’s hands, but, when you lose someone else, you find out how much you’ve been delivered. I think that sometimes, for us as Christians, we can use God’s promises of life, joy, and prosperity to help us forget the sorrow we’re feeling. But there is one thing God promises us and it doesn’t exclude the weight of grief.
Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn. For they shall be comforted.” This verse doesn’t exclude our pain, but it reassures us that we have the comfort needed to get through it. We’re blessed, not because we mourn, but because we’re in a circumstance where we get to experience God as our comforter.
Our faith isn’t for show. Sometimes living in the goodness of God doesn’t look or feel too great, but God is still God, which means He’s still good. We don’t have to be in denial about how we feel about our circumstances, we can be honest with ourselves, our Christian community, and especially with God. When I got hit with this most recent wave of grief, I had a hard time praying. I wanted to keep it a buck with God, but I thought that if I’d direct my prayer elsewhere, my sorrows would be lifted. That wasn’t the case. I was sitting there, sad to a point of frustration and in that moment, I heard God say, “It’s okay to grieve, as long as you don’t forget who I am.” God had given me full permission to grieve with Him. He embraced me, and He’ll also embrace you.
Grieving this time around isn’t pleasant, and I don’t think grief will ever be, but when you grieve with God, you won’t be left in sorrow. God is everlasting, and I’m happy to know that even sorrow must come to an end, and when it does, you and I have the last laugh. A good friend led me to this verse that’s helped me lean on God during this time and I want to share it with you. That way you’ll have it when you need it.
The verse is John 16:20, “Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy.” It’s not easy to go day by day when you don’t feel like rejoicing with the world, but remember that it doesn’t last forever, and with God, it ends in joy. Good grief!
