If I had to answer the question of who I am, I would say I am a 25-year-old female Christian. My place in this world can be defined in many ways, ranging from daughter and sibling to friend and acquaintance. But even with all that, I have chosen to be a Christian first, before I am anything else. I’ve found that this is the only sure way that I can come to the full realization of who I am and what I am meant to become in the long run.
Aside from that, I am a creative who pleasures in self-expression of many kinds, but writing has taken the lead. As such, I write in and out of season. I write personally, professionally, and now more than ever, for the Kingdom.
I refuse to be defined solely by what I do. It is why I refuse to say that I am a writer or blogger first. That is just what I do. But other than what I can do, I am more.
It is with this very confidence that I am learning to walk away from guilt and shame often attached to experiences and decisions. I am un-associated from an identity that is solely based on what I have or can do.
Although I’ve been a Christian for as long as I could begin to breathe, I have recently strengthened my personal relationship with God. This started to happen after I cleared my undergraduate degree and I began to see the world for what it truly is, My faith just needed to grow. Still, my final years on campus were not as smooth. Even just the pressure of letting part of yourself go so you can grow was too much. While the faith I had then wasn’t as much, it was anchoring enough to see me through that season.
The greatest trial I have faced wasn’t a direct attack on me, but on my family. As the eldest child, it’s more or less obvious that you carry the burdens, and everything in between, of your entire family. In 2013, just as I started my undergraduate degree, my dad got into a serious predicament with the law based on false accusations. This became a sore spot for me and my entire family all through my campus life. The justice system in Kenya always seemed to take its time. My school life was tougher than any other period of my life. How was I supposed to get through 4 years with such a yoke on my neck? Well, I did.
My faith remained that of mustard seed. Although I had experienced God come through for me in several ways during my campus life, my faith refused to grow – it’s not like I put any effort to make it grow anyway!
In 2019, thankfully, God caused a miracle, and the truth came out. My dad was let go of all charges and declared innocent – I am still yet to understand why it would take 7 years to prove something that was already so clear for everyone to see.
Did this up my faith in God? Certainly. I began to see that it is possible for God to remember you even though it feels you’ve been forgotten a long time.
Have I understood why all of that happened? No! I am yet to understand what God’s plan was with all that. Needless to say, I am grateful for freedom and remembrance. It’s not feigned when He says that He opens the books of remembrance – He is God after all!
If you are young enough, then you probably have encountered an identity crisis more than once in your young adult life. It doesn’t get better, until you go to the author of your life. See, if someone begun to write a story, then only He understands the plot of the story, as well as the identity assigned to each character.
As such, a relationship with God is the only way to figure it out. Otherwise, you will spend all your youth trying out everything, hoping to stumble upon a big rock that holds your purpose. Don’t wait till you are much older to finally acknowledge the place of God. And as a bonus, don’t go out searching for the God of everyone else. The God of Abraham was Abraham’s God. Make attempts to find and know God for yourself and you are going to need the Holy Spirit for it.
