With today being Valentine’s Day, I can assure you that love is in the air. Whether we’ve chosen to spend this day with friends, family, or lovers, it is important that we show them the appreciation they deserve – today and every day. I’m sure by now, many of you have seen the film, Malcolm & Marie. If you haven’t, I definitely recommend that you do. The film is based on a unique but somewhat familiar story of trials and tribulations of a young couple’s relationship. The premise of the movie, among other things, is Marie’s desire to be appreciated, recognized for all she does in her relationship and for her boyfriend. In our busy lives, it’s easy to take the ones we love for granted. It’s easy to assume and expect that someone who’s been there will always be there, but the reality is, they won’t.

Allowing someone in your life to go unappreciated can be the quickest way to lose them. As we get older and more mature, we realize the importance of not nurturing and forcing relationships that no longer serve us. It is not healthy, nor is it okay. This means that someone is less likely to settle for behavior that they feel does not satisfy their needs or expectations. Even if someone is willing to remain in a relationship or friendship where they are being forsaken, it doesn’t mean we maintain the status quo and bank on the fact that they stay in spite of how dense and absent-minded we can be, it means we do better. We take stock of those moments and behaviors that are driving them away and creating a disconnect and we make a more concerted effort simply because we care. Because love seeks a solution, not to place blame. Relationships need more than one person’s effort to work, and not holding up your end of the bargain could end the relationship or friendship, as well as any chance you have to reconcile.

There are plenty of ways to show your appreciation to your loved one other than just saying “thank you.” Voicing your gratefulness is very important in a relationship, but just as important is showing your appreciation in the love language of your partner, friend, or family member. Acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch are the different categories in which people tend to give and receive love. Any relationship’s success rides on loving each other the way the other receives love. While you might show your appreciation and love in buying gifts, someone else might feel appreciated by you spending time with them or maybe writing them a letter about how much they mean to you. In relationships, romantic, and friendly alike, you have to be willing to do the work it takes to understand your love language and your counterparts.

Sometimes in our lives, we are graced with the best of the best. God places people in our lives to aid us and help us grow, and that is not something we should take for granted. I know it can be hard to recognize the good around us when it seems that we are surrounded by negativity, but it is important to take a step back and attempt to acknowledge the places where the light shines. The reality is that Valentine’s day is just a day. It is the 14th of February that some love and others despise. Yes, it’s nice to have a day dedicated to love and friendship, but regardless of the day, we should be making consistent efforts to show our loved ones that we appreciate them. It shouldn’t be a mystery to the people we love that we love them and it also shouldn’t take this day arriving on our calendars for us to acknowledge, celebrate and thank those we love. That should happen every day, it should happen every time they do anything that puts a smile on our face, lift a weight that off of our shoulders, or simply, just make a day better. Valentine’s Day is a day to show further appreciation and gratitude to those you love, not the day to finally express feelings you have been withholding or never expressed. Whether you’re in a relationship or have friends that you truly care for and whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or not, never forget to say thank you and acknowledge the effort being made on your behalf and the overall lengths anyone is willing to go for you simply because they care. Let the light in and embrace it – do not try to dim it or the people that provide it.