It’s that time of the year where we make our new year’s resolutions and think back to what we could do better or continue to do. Even with how the year is, currently, we’ll most likely do the same thing as always; it’s just tradition. Some of the more common resolutions we often are in regards to losing weight, having more fun, and most importantly, to be happy. The search for true happiness has been a theme for mankind since the dawn of time. I feel, as humans, we often think, “Okay, in the future I will be this or do that.” There is no issue with that, but why wait till then? Why deprive yourself of this thing or feeling until a moment in the future that may never come? I feel like everyone falls victim to this false narrative of the “perfect moment or time”. I know I have. I remember putting my whole life on hold until this “perfect moment” that my head imagined up. I constantly waited for this moment and it never came. I was just stuck in neutral for what seemed like forever. 

I remember telling myself once I lose a certain amount of weight, I would be happy. I remember saying when I finally got a girlfriend, I would be happy. I remember thinking once I got the newest Jordans and Nikes, I will be happy. I remember telling myself once I got my dream car, I’ll be happy. I remember telling myself once I get to the future, I’ll finally be truly happy. I lost the weight, I had the girl, I got all the shoes I always wanted, I finally got my dream car, and I finally reached the future. But when I finally got there I wasn’t happy. Finally obtaining those things didn’t meet the happiness level or idea that my mind imagined. I bought into the idea of the pursuit of happiness. My past mistakes made me believe happiness is a destination, not a journey. What I learned is happiness isn’t something you have to earn through patience, hard work, material things, and accolades. It’s something you become in the moment because you want to. It’s all around us, every single day. Happiness is a choice, one we’re all deserving of, no matter what. You could say only you are stopping yourself from enjoying it. Brene Brown, a famous social worker, and the author says, “I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness- it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention.” I honestly was shocked when I heard this because it went against my very being. How could I be happy now if my imagination is saying I’ll be happy in this future moment because of something I don’t have currently? It all comes down to perspective. Our minds hold the key to how we perceive the world and everything around us. I know this all may seem crazy to you, I may even seem crazy to you honestly. I know I felt it when I was going through some trials that tested this theory of thinking. Early in quarantine, I had a girl who I liked and things were going fine; I was happy, she was happy it seemed like, and out of nowhere she cheated on me. I’d be lying if I said this experience didn’t hurt, but it was a chance to test out this way of thinking I just heard about. I was tired of being sad, hurt, and not happy. One morning I woke up and said enough is enough – today I will be happy. And to be honest it seemed like my whole world changed in that one sentence I said. I said this each and every morning I woke up, and even if I wasn’t doing anything, I still felt happy because I was choosing at that moment to be happy. I wouldn’t wait for something to happen to be happy. One of the greatest things I’ve learned during quarantine is, “You have to be happy and grateful on purpose because nothing happens just to happen, you have to be purposeful.” 

We work ourselves into the ground to be better looking, we work thousands of hours to earn all this money, and we do things that aren’t really us to impress the people around us. All for the sake of happiness. All with the belief that happiness is at the end of our efforts and labor. I’m not here to shame anyone or to say follow what I’m saying because I’m right and you are wrong. I want to just give a new look on things. Maybe the very thing you’re chasing or waiting for to happen doesn’t really matter to you, it’s just what you think will make you happy.

This is just something coming from a guy who felt like I got to the end of my life and felt like I failed because I never felt the happiness my mind envisioned for me. But quarantine gave me the restart necessary to do better and be reborn in a sense. I’d be lying if I said it’s easy to be happy every day with life’s bumps and bruises all the time. But I just strive to have seven days of happiness a week, and if I come up short, at least I tried.

We all stress ourselves out planning a future curated to our preference, but God could have other plans for us. It can leave us numb and paralyzed knowing no matter what we do now, our future could look totally different than how we envisioned it. Maybe this is because we grew up planning everything down to the last detail in our lives. Or because we realized we actually have no power, just ourselves and actions in this very moment. To the old me and many others currently, this could be very scary and demoralizing. It can make you not want to get out of bed in the morning because there’s a chance your future won’t look like how you imagined it. You may feel like you won’t reach this happiness level that your imagination has created and that you won’t be truly happy. I counter that. Maybe the happiness isn’t in the there (future), but in the here and now (present).

A Blog Post by Philip Prewitt