What is tough love truly? Tough love, to me, in its simplest form, is the correction of bad behavior or guidance in some form that leads to a better future. The correction, however, comes in the toughest forms. It’s not gentle or subtle, but quick and forceful. I think we’ve all experienced the same upbringing in some sense. Growing up, whenever we did something bad or wrong, got in trouble, or went against our parents’ rule, there were consequences. For some, it was a stern talking to, for the rest of us it was a “stern” beating that made us think twice before doing something that would put us back in that unflattering position with our parents again. And every time we would cry to our parents, “why would you do this to me, I thought you ‘loved’ me?” Their answer would always be, “what? I do love you, it’s called tough love, if I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be doing this to you.” As a kid, I thought my parents always just said this mystic snarky line to shut me up. But as I got older, I understood what and why they did. It was because they loved me, they wanted what was best for me and knew my current behavior wasn’t going to provide a successful and fruitful future for me. The Bible mentions in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” I’ll never say I’m perfect because no one is, but over the years, I’ve matured; we all do. We stop being those kids getting those stern talks and memorable beatings that’ll last a lifetime.
There comes a time where we have to stand on our own two feet, journey this world alone, and pray we remember and take heed to all the knowledge and lessons our parents instilled in us because the world is waiting for us to drift away from our parents’ advice and succumb to its ways of living. Our relationship with our parents is the same dynamic we share with God.
The Bible has many commandments and advice that God urges us to follow as Christians, to live a pure life – a good one at that. I know I don’t follow all of them 24/7 or 365 days a year. But that’s where God’s grace and mercy come into the equation. One might say it’s the shield from God’s wrath for our wrongdoings and foolish behavior. I know when I first dedicated my life back to Christ solely, I felt stuck and confused. I thought our walk as Christians was narrow and restrictive. I honestly thought to myself, how could God think this would be fun for us? I always thought life was meant for me to do whatever I want with whoever I want and did not give it a second thought. But through trial and error on my own accord and moments of chastisement from the Great one above, I finally understood.
The Bible mentions in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” God’s commandments and precepts He urges us to follow aren’t to put us in these prison chains but for us to live and prosper while doing so – to protect us. The Bible speaks of this in Psalms 5:11-12, “But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. For thou, Lord, wilt bless the righteous; with favor wilt thou compass him as with a shield.” I truly think the proof is in the pudding (Bible). It really all just comes down to us trusting our lives to someone other than ourselves and having faith moment by moment.
When close people or even God brings things to your attention that they feel you should improve upon, don’t take it as a shot at you being less than in any way or form. Actually, take it as a compliment. They see potential in you, they see you have an ability to improve and be a better version of your current self. It all comes down to how you take their correction.
