In the first six months of this year, so many things have taken place that truly prove to be signs of these times. Monthly, almost weekly, new things – both exciting and devastating – have hit news outlets, social media platforms, and have become the talks of towns. Throughout the ups and downs our country and our world has faced over the last half year, certain sentiments have become so common and apparent in people everywhere. These emotions and feelings are ones we will look back on months and years from now that we will use to represent and describe how these times changed and affected us.
One thing people tend to mention when they refer to the year 2020 is how this year was supposed to be a year of clarity – a year of “20/20 vision”, let’s say. It seems to me as if the clarity people were searching for or expecting, has arrived. So many things are coming to light about things that seem so distant from us – people in power, bigger corporations, different industries. But also, from my personal experience and the experiences of those around me, things are also coming to light in our families and friend groups, the spaces close to us. A reason new senses of clarity have become so common right now is because we have too much time on our hands to continue to ignore the things that have been in front of our faces for the longest time. Personally, before all of this I was going through the motions. I was so “busy” and just anxious to get on with my life and my future that I was not present in my present. It took being out of work, being out school, having the whole world stop, for me to see things in my life that I should have let go of, and see the things that I’ve taken for granted. I remember when we first transitioned to online schooling, we’d have ample discussions about how we’re coping and how we’re adjusting and I remember sharing that it’d been very hard for me because I felt alone with my thoughts. I was at the point where I was forced to think about the thoughts I’d been avoiding for so long. Months later, now that I’ve had time to address these thoughts, process them, and take action, so much more makes sense and I feel a sense of freedom knowing and understanding what I do now.
Another feeling this year has brought on is the feeling of being stuck and stagnant. As a recent college graduate who should be feeling the joys of knowing I have my whole life and career ahead of me, I tend to only be able to focus on a few weeks of my life at a time. With the way the world has gone on pause, opportunities have been put on pause, celebrations have been put on pause, income, among many other things. Things don’t seem to be changing and to me and many others, it just feels like we are in a constant state of limbo. There’s no telling what the future holds. It’s hard to even visualize and plan for the next month just because so many things are in the air. If you’re like me, you like to make plans for yourself, give yourself goals and deadlines to meet, you like to feel in control of your life and the course you’re taking. Unfortunately for us though, with no definitive say in what the future holds, all the planning and deadlines could be deemed pointless. Anxiety starts to creep in and the lack of control of what your future holds puts you in a predicament where you feel like you can’t plan absolutely anything. The way I see it, if you can’t plan everything, you won’t plan anything. Of course that is not ideal, but I think subconsciously a lot of people, me included, have that mindset.
Ordinarily, we focus on planning the big things while neglecting little things and because the “big” things are more often than not, unplannable right now, we should utilize the control and will that we do have and plan for whatever we can. A lot of us feel stuck because of the lack of control and the reality is, not all hope is lost. Change your perspective and outlook on the way things are right now. Try new things that keep you safe but equally entertained and fulfilled. You are only stuck if you allow yourself to be.
Whether you’ve gained some new insight during this time or haven’t been feeling too good about where you’re forced to be in your life, both experiences are normal, natural, and expected. As you come to new realizations, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time to process and time to really dig deep. Ask yourself what these new concepts mean, how they can benefit you and what they come with. If you’re feeling stuck or stagnant, also be kind to yourself. Accept the fact that you’re not always going to be in control and learn to be okay not being in control. Understand that time is on your side and use that to your advantage. Lastly, understand that in clarity and in feeling stuck, you are not alone.
