There is a belief that in order to succeed, to accomplish the things that we truly want, we have to be selfish – to forsake everything and everyone to reach the goal set before us, which is mistakenly referred to as focus. I read a quote that said, “to get what you want, you have to be selfish, spending time solely on yourself and your craft and once you have what you perceive as success, then you can be unselfish.” I do believe in focusing on one’s goals, as I advised us all to do last week, but it shouldn’t be to the detriment of relationships nor should it cause you to neglect your surroundings. There is a fine line between remaining focused to pursue your interests and forsaking all else to get where you want to be.
Contrary to popular belief, there’s a way to focus on your craft without losing sight of all else. I must confess it requires another perspective shift. Firstly, as it pertains to success, we have to stop viewing every living thing as competition – there is room for us all to succeed. Secondly, we can’t perceive our success as only our own. I am referring to a belief that your success in it of itself is only for you. We tend to think of our dreams and passions as personal things, just for us, but if your dream only impacts and benefits you, it’s too small.
“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.“ – Jackie Robinson
When Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in 1947, he didn’t celebrate himself for what he did, but rather, celebrated the door that was now opened for generations of black men who would follow with the same love he had for the game of baseball. In fact, his keen awareness of the injustice of Black people is probably what helped him to endure – he knew it wasn’t just about him, it was bigger. His fight for equality in baseball, and ultimately in this country, was not just for men and women of his time, but for people who had yet to be born – us now. Notice that in order for Mr. Robinson to accomplish his goal, he had to pay more attention to his community and surroundings, not less.
“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? “ – Mark 8:26
Not only is this my favorite scripture, but an apt rhetorical question for the ultimate detriment of forsaking all else for a goal or dream – loss of who you are. You may acquire success and praise, but you’ll be celebrating only temporarily. The world’s adjudication and praise over what you have done feels great, sure, but it’s fleeting. Sacrificing time, effort and the occasional weekends for the dream is one thing, but if we have to sacrifice relationships, experiences and life itself for the dream, then maybe we ought to consider not the dream itself, but our method of achieving it.
None of us want to look back and only see what we have accomplished.We are more than our goals and even our greatest accomplishments – we are friends, brothers, sisters and allies – not competitors or stepping stones – and we shouldn’t have to forsake those ties and who we are to pursue our dreams.
