Being mixed has its benefits, such as having two cultures to belong to or having early exposure to the diversity within the world. But being mixed also has its determinants both socially and psychologically. Socially, being mixed is seen as a privilege within the black community in which perpetuates a division due to colorism. Lighter skin people, who are typically mixed, have to deal with the assumptions made within the black community of being too soft and not fully relating to the struggles of being black or brown. This discredits how we feel, how we were raised, and our overall sense of identity. Mixed children face isolation at higher rates due to being different. Assuming the mixed person is black and Mexican, like myself, we’re too light to be with the black community, and we’re too dark to be with the Latino community, which sometimes leaves us to be alone. Having a sense of disconnection from our cultures causes a disconnection within ourselves because if we do not look like or be around the people that associate with those cultures, we don’t feel as if we belong. That disconnection becomes prevalent when jokes or comments about our differences are made and carried on within both sides of the family.

Another dilemma that comes with being mixed is the constant discrimination and degradation you feel when one side of the family speaks poorly of the other side. Being black and Mexican, there is slander from one side of the family towards the next, and although they say “you’re different” or “except for you”, the words still hurt you because they were meant to attack a piece of you. Then you start to grow a resentment for either the side that continuously is slandering you or you resent the side of you that is getting slandered because it’s easier to disassociate and hate that side instead of hate the ones that keep hurting you. Once you lose a piece of you, it’s hard to get it back, especially if you aren’t in an environment that fosters growth and or change. Now you’re stuck in a cycle of hurt that you can’t let go of because you don’t know how.

I wouldn’t change anything about the fact that I am mixed because although it creates a void and a blurred image of who I am, it also gave, and still does, give me questions to ask and answers to seek within myself and life. Take the turmoil that you may feel inside and turn it into fuel that moves you to think and feel deeply about cultures, races, and life.

– Amahd Bey