What is individuality? According to the dictionary, it’s “the quality or character of a particular person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind, especially when strongly marked.” I think, in life, we see so much of the same thing that we “marvel” when we notice or feel something out of the ordinary. It can be a pair of shoes or a place that gives us renewed energy, or even a certain person that sticks out amongst a crowd.
To put a picture to what I’m trying to explain, let’s use ourselves as individuals in life. The world says we should have millions of friends and should be doing a million and one things. Well, I say I probably will not ever meet that standard of living. Not that it’s too much work, but plain and simple, it’s not me.
Growing up, I always thought that was a bad thing that I didn’t do or like everything that my peers were always into or doing. It took me almost twenty-three years of struggling to meet this invisible universal standard of doing what others expect of me and a simple talk from my mentor recently. Sometimes, it literally takes someone saying what you already think for you to come to terms with something and agree with it. She clearly stated something along the lines of, “We’re all different in some form or another, and there is no shame in that.” Life isn’t about being just like everyone else, it’s about being uniquely you.
That’s something no one tells us growing up, and if they do tell us, then they’re not talking about one’s sense of individuality enough. I feel that a lot of us go through life feeling different compared to everyone else or what a majority of others are doing.
We feel that we’re falling short of what we’re “supposed” to be doing. It can leave a person feeling dismayed and not feeling connected in a sense. I know, for me, growing up and even until recently, that’s what I felt on the inside. I never truly knew why I felt this pressure to be like everyone else; maybe it was my imagination or some forced idea of trying to be with the in-crowd. My mother always asked this question growing up when I let the pressure of fitting in bring me down. She said, “If everyone was jumping off a bridge, would you?” And I would always laughingly say, “No, mom, that’s crazy.” And she would respond with something along the lines of, “Then don’t worry or trip off not fitting in with others now.” This was something so simple yet so profound.
I argue in life, sometimes, we get so caught up trying to impress others and feel seen that sometimes we lose ourselves and forget we’re individuals ourselves.
We don’t have to like or do everything that everyone else enjoys. And that’s perfectly fine. There is no reason to judge or condemn yourself or someone else for being different because we’re all uniquely made.
Psalms 139:13-14 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
I question a lot of things in life, but if the Bible says I’m wonderfully made, then I can’t stress about being different or doing things differently. God intended for me to be exactly who I presently am, so there’s no point in me or anyone else stressing or driving ourselves mad to fit in.
