“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” Philippians 1:3-6 NKJV
I finished university with quite a number of my mates about a year ago. Before then there was not much of a race – most of us followed the same path, with the most deviation being a gap year or two. After university, however, paths started to diverge: some are managers, others are still looking for jobs, some went back to school, etc. This year has proven to be the time I have looked to others for validation the most, where I have felt lesser than as a result of what I have achieved in comparison to those I see. Although I see where perhaps I can consider myself ahead of another, it’s easier to feel inferior than superior. The more time passes since our various graduations, the wider the gap grows, and the more difficult it has become for me to not use others as my yardstick.
I have found, in this season, that comparing myself to others is not a small, harmless thing, but rather a significant issue that can lead to self depreciation and envious thoughts and activity.
I have found that I can open a door to a life of negativity and a lack of community. I have gone through several thought structures to make me feel better: sometimes I reason that one’s success can be excused because they lack in another area. Other days it is that the reward for the lack I have identified is a much greater joy than what another has currently and sometimes, it is simply that perhaps I am not enough to receive. The one that seems to hold the most water is finding my confidence in the Lord, and trusting His process and promise. Of course, just as it is easier to feel inferior than superior, it is much easier to feel superior than to find my confidence in Christ. But the God-option always works.
The reminders that ring through my head are that God loves me and wants what is best for me. The Word says “The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease” (Lamentations 3:22 NLT) and that “Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:9-11 NKJV).
It does not matter what life looks like right now, even if you are in the depths of hopelessness – and if so, I truly empathise. The bottom line is that the race is not linear, and neither are His plans. What today looks like is not a determinant for tomorrow. My favourite thing about knowing the Lord is that every second is an opportunity for the miraculous. His plan is unique for you. Somehow, it will work out. Even if it does not go according to your design, it will serve you exactly how it must. And it will be enough, in Jesus’ name.
Happy New Year!
