We often assume the worst scars a person can have are the physical ones, the ones we can see. Never the mental ones, the ones that are invisible to the human eye. I’d like to think we have all heard this phrase from our parents or elders when we let others’ words get under our skin from time to time. The saying goes sticks & stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. It’s a simple quote, easy to understand, and as straight to the point as some things in life are. But it wasn’t until I got older and experienced real-life issues that this quote became very apparent in my everyday life. I realized how much I, as a person, valued people’s opinions and how much I analyzed the speech of others. I couldn’t tell you what I learned three semesters ago in my oceanography class, but I can tell you what a person said and how they made me or anyone else feel in that very moment since I learned how to speak as a kid. You could say that’s my unusual skill.
Maybe my thinking is different at times then. I noticed all my physical scraps and bruises healed over time and I always ended up laughing at them in the aftermath of whatever happened. But words? It seemed like those were the bruises that lasted a lifetime no matter how long I let them heal, just remembering whatever that person said brought back all those emotions and feelings in an instant. It felt like I was reliving the moment all over again. I noticed that most of the problems with people, myself included, aren’t our actions and what we do, but more so what we say. Especially when it is something negative or harsh. I’ve never forgotten what others have said, or what I said no matter how much I wanted to forget. I know life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but that doesn’t mean we have to accept or tolerate the negativity people or ourselves try and put on others. I feel like it’s the moral thing to do, to extend kindness to others and treat them the way we want to be treated, but I forget at times we are not always as conscious of the impact and power of our words.
The Bible talks a lot about how our words hold a lot of meaning and power and I honestly believe that without a shadow of a doubt. I learned that truth the hard way. I am thinking back to one of my darkest days when mentally I just wanted to stop, falter, and honestly give up because I felt so overwhelmed. To say I was on the edge of life is one way of putting it and my future truly could have gone either way. And if someone had spoken harshly to me in that very moment, I could have become a distant memory in so many people’s hearts and minds, but God had other plans. Someone, instead of putting me down, spoke positivity and life back into my lost and crushed soul. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV states, therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. In other words, speak to others in a manner you would want to be spoken to, hopefully, something positive and uplifting. Speak life into others just as you ought to be speaking life into yourself as well.
At the end of the day, life is hard, negative at times, and greatly out of our control, but we do have the power to control how much negativity we put out into it and upon others. As the old saying goes, we truly never know what somebody is going through. So before you try and tear down someone else or even yourself, ask yourself is this the right thing to be saying? Will it uplift the hearer of my words? Is this going to do more harm than good? Think before you speak. Rapper Big Sean once said you learn hearing doubts doesn’t mean you have to listen. All true, but let’s not give those negative thoughts or words any ammunition, and let’s be careful about the words we use to express ourselves and to communicate with others.
