Each and every one of us may be great, but we aren’t perfect. We may be strong by ourselves, but we’re stronger together, which is why it is important to have “No-men”. “No-men” are people that healthy disagree you and call you out on faults. They are extremely important to have around because they give you a sense of checks and balances. I mean, every Democracy has one, why not you? Sometimes we tend to believe that every idea we have may be the best idea, and that we always know what is truly best for us. However, it’s important to acknowledge that we can neglect certain perspectives.

We’ve all heard the saying, “two heads are better than one.” The strength behind “two heads” root from the different perspectives, talents, and resources each person can bring to the table. Although we are capable of making great decisions on our own, sometimes we don’t. That simple. We are human, and we definitely aren’t perfect, so there is going to be times where we make the wrong choice, but having someone close to you that can say “no” is always necessary. It opens your mind to take in more information .

“No-men” are trustworthy and meaningful. They are friends who know your real intentions and habits. They know what your goals are and where you want to be. They offer an outside perspective to the situation at hand and can see things that you aren’t thinking about. As an adult, it is important to be comfortable with being challenged, especially from those close to you. The ability to receive criticism through people disagreeing with you is valuable because it allows for your faults to be exposed so you can work on them and better yourself.

We develop habits that we subconsciously perpetuate, and a lot of these habits are hard to break. “No-men” create a force of accountability. They can prevent us from making those impulsive buys or immature reactions. They give you the chance to really think about your choice of action in the moment and it could help you in the long run. Being able to have a second conscience can help prevent mistakes that were easily avoidable.

This next point is very important… “No-men” and haters not the same thing. It’s very important to note the difference here, mainly because we tend to get them mixed up. For example, maybe you grew up with that one annoying cousin that was always responsible. You probably saw them as a hater because they always stood in-between you and the fun (stupid and irresponsible) decisions you wanted to make. This is a clear example of why we must be aware of our advisor’s intentions. If your hater loves you and tells you “no” because they care for your well-being, then that’s not a hater, that’s a “No-man”.

Also, know that your “No-man” is not your guardian angel – he or she is your advisor. That means that you can’t take everything they say as fact, but just appreciate their opinion and take it into account (unless it is fact). You are your own man/woman, and you make your own decisions that you will be responsible for as a human.

The whole point of having a “No-man” is not to hold you back or annoy you, but to give you a reason to slow down and make well-educated decisions. Maybe you have a “No-man” already – great for you! If not, maybe it was the “negative-energy friend” you had before he or she was cut off – maybe give them a call? (Or not). Either way, let’s all try our best to quit the group-think and open out minds to new perspectives.