God always speaks, but are we listening? In Job 33:14 it says “For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not.” This means that God is always communicating, but we may not always hear Him. I have found myself acting out this scenario many times, especially when I was younger: I only used to seek God’s voice when I was worried or when it came to big decisions such as who to date or what course to study at university. In fact, I recently left a relationship because I didn’t understand how the Holy Spirit communicated with me. I was confused, and I believed that God was silent because He didn’t reveal things to me straight away or in the way that I was used to.
When I first met this guy, he seemed lovely and I felt peace in speaking to him. However, as days went on, he started bringing up dating and the future; I couldn’t fight a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. There was a deep anxiousness I couldn’t fathom. I chalked the feeling up to “butterflies” and I convinced myself that I was just afraid of what God was doing because he seemed like-minded. We went to the same church, he prayed and seemed very intentional. I believed I was entertaining the one that God had ordained for me. Scripture says that “man judges by the outward appearance but God judges the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7); I thought I knew best. God never gave me personal conviction but I still went ahead. I kept fighting what I believed was small anxiety at the time and entered a relationship with the guy. Months went by and red flags were flying. This same feeling would come back stronger every time, but I never associated it with the Holy Spirit per se (we had a lot of confirmations and I believe that spirit of God isn’t one of confusion).
As time went on, the Holy Spirit started communicating with me through my sleep. I would rebuke it every time believing it was my fears or the devil. I was aware that God speaks through dreams, but I wouldn’t say that I fully understood the dreams and when I would confer with those I trusted they would minimize or change the meaning completely. However, something within me would be so uneasy when I woke up, and it got to a point where I could no longer sleep.
Job 33:15-18: “In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they slumber in their beds, he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, to turn them from wrongdoing and keep them from pride, to preserve them from the pit, their lives from perishing by the sword.“
When I ignored the dreams, God spoke to me through a sermon. It was miraculous how this Word started to tear down my delusion and affirmed the small voice masked as discomfort. The words were simple “Idolatry is anything that you love or prioritize more than your obedience to God”(Prophetess Tiphani Montgomery). I knew that the Holy Spirit needed me to hear that. All the hairs on my arms stood up and I burst into tears. The small feeling I had before now started to torment me – I no longer felt peace within myself. I was aware of God’s stance all along, but I had made this guy into my idol. God had made it clear he didn’t want me with this person.
To leave that situation I had to pay attention to the multi-dimensional ways that God communicates. God can use anything; he even used a donkey in Numbers 22. It’s so important that we do not limit how God speaks! In my personal experience, He used my emotions (active disobedience leads to the decrease of the peace of God in your life, your very conscience and conviction will not give you peace), scripture (the relationship didn’t honor the commandments and advice of scripture), he used ministers to warn me (watching Christian content helped me to gain a deeper understanding of God expectations and affirmed the other methods). In addition to this, He used my dreams, and the confirmation of other people’s dreams and words to confirm what I had seen.
I thank God for this experience. No matter how painful it was, I needed it to grow in more understanding of who God is and how He speaks to me. Many of us struggle because we come with expectations and box how God communicates with us. The Lord is the good shepherd; he would never want us to stray into trouble; He is willing to find us, especially when we do find ourselves in trouble. The Word of God is a lamp unto our feet (Psalm 119:105): you may not be able to always discern the hand of God but when you’re familiar with His Word, the Holy Spirit will bring the word to your remembrance (even if it as a thought).
Finally, God speaks, but the question is are you listening? Is your mind quiet? Do you give room for God to speak or do you limit and box how God shows up in your life?
