Forgiveness. We hear it all the time in Christian and non-Christian circles. It’s clear that there’s a general understanding that forgiveness is something we will all have to do in order to move on with our lives at some point in time. We’re taught to forgive as children, to make up, and to move on, in hopes that it will carry into our adult life. Some of us have experienced hurt so painful that our unforgiveness towards those involved feels justified. But I don’t want to talk about them today. I want to talk about you. You can forgive those who’ve hurt you today, tomorrow, whenever you decide, but when will you forgive yourself? I’ve come to learn that forgiveness is a three-fold act. God forgives us, we forgive others, and at some point we must also forgive ourselves. If you’re like me before writing this devotional, you were probably trying to think of any passages or stories in the Bible that talks about forgiving ourselves. Luckily for us, the Holy Spirit gave me a revelation of a common story that I believe can help.
As the Pastors always say, “Please open up your Bibles and turn to” Luke 5:17-25. This is the story of Jesus forgiving and healing a Paralytic. There was a group of men who brought a paralyzed man to a place where Jesus was teaching. They had a difficult time getting the paralytic in the room with Jesus, so they took a top-down approach… literally. As they lowered their paralyzed friend through the roof, Jesus saw their faith displayed on the paralytic’s behalf and had forgiven the paralyzed man of his sins. After the Pharisees finished murmuring, Jesus took things a step further. Not only did Jesus forgive the paralytic, He told the man to get up, take up his bed, and go home. The paralytic did exactly what Jesus told him to do and glorified God while doing so. So, what does this have to do with us learning to forgive ourselves? I’m glad you asked.
When you respond to something, it is because a process has taken place which has allowed you to understand an interaction or encounter that has happened. Jesus told this man that his sins were forgiven, which means that this man was faced with the fact that he did something that contributed to his paralytic state. What have you done, what did you believe, what cycles have you continued, that have kept you in the same place? Keeping you angry, bitter, offended, or fearful? What words do you say or attitude you maintain that keeps others at bay and you feeling isolated? This man was forced to acknowledge that there had been some stuff in his heart that made him unwell, contributing to the physical, emotional, and spiritual state he was in. When Jesus told him that he was forgiven, he was now faced with a choice to either stay in a paralyzed position or to get up, take what once held him stuck in a paralyzed state and walk freely from what once held him down. The same goes for us.
When we ask God to help us forgive those who trespass against us (Matthew 6:12; Luke 11:4), we rarely consider how often we trespass against who God calls us to be. When we allow influences of the enemy to reign in our hearts and minds, we let our flesh trespass our spirit, and we need to forgive ourselves for when we act as our own opponent.
What I love about the end of this story is that although the Bible doesn’t say it, you can tell that the paralyzed man forgave himself of his own sins because he came into agreement with Jesus through his actions. I believe that he got up, took his bed, and walked away because not only did he believe he was forgiven, he came to the realization that if Jesus can forgive me, then I can forgive myself too. When we respond in obedience to what God is saying or what Jesus had instructed, it’s because we’ve come into agreement with what has been said. This man came into agreement with forgiveness by forgiving himself and refusing to stay in a paralytic state. The truth is that whether or not he decided to continue laying down didn’t change the fact that he was forgiven, but his disobedience would’ve kept him in a state that he wasn’t subjected to anymore. If we receive forgiveness and don’t accept it and walk in it, we deceive ourselves into thinking that God’s forgiveness didn’t work because we’re still lying down.
Forgiving yourself requires you to get up, take what once comforted you in your state of unforgiveness, and walk away with that healing as your testimony. In fact, if we look at this story, we see that this man wouldn’t have known he was healed if he didn’t get up.
As I wrap up, I want to show you a part of this story that I absolutely love. In verse 17 it says that the power of the Lord was present to heal those who were present. There were people from many regions sharing in this moment, yet only one took advantage of the healing power that was present there. That healing power is still present today, even in your situation, but it’s up to you to face yourself, come into agreement, and walk in forgiveness of self. Understand that you’ve been forgiven on the account of Jesus’ name and not your own (1 John 2:12) because if Jesus can forgive you, who are you to withhold forgiveness against others, let alone yourself? Get up, take up your bed, walk, and most importantly, glorify God while you’re at it.
