As early as my early childhood I could remember I hated losing, never wanted my name to even be mentioned in the same sentence as that word – I was very competitive. My father always said in life you can’t win all of them, no matter how much you want and try to, we just hope that at the end of our lives we had more wins than losses. Honestly, I thought my father was just okay with losing, something I was not, but as I got older, I started to understand what he meant. The reason I hated losing was that that meant I had no control, it made me feel powerless and discouraged, it crumbled me down to bits and pieces. I’ve realized a lot of us go through this in life, wanting to always come out on top and not feel the pain of losing and rock bottom. You can try to avoid losing by not doing anything in life, but I guess that puts you in a neutral grey winning area, where you’re not actually living or progressing at all, just stagnant, coasting through life and avoiding growth.
Looking back at my life, I noticed all the times and moments I grew the most were when I lost it all and found myself at rock bottom. In other words, my lowest points. I feel a lot of us can relate to this. I like to think these moments in our lives are teaching us our limits, what we can handle and endure, while also giving birth to new and better versions of ourselves. I’m not saying it will be easy, look pretty, or even feel good, but you will be a better person on the other side of the issue at hand. But through all the pain, issues, struggles, and sleepless nights, we lose sight of this. My mother constantly tells me since I became an adult, life isn’t easy by any means, we all have seasons of good, bad, and standbys. The real challenge and lesson are do you sit there in self-pity and doubt, or do you keep moving and conquering each new challenge life throws at you? At this ripe stage of adulthood, I’ve come to realize life owes us nothing and that we’re just living in its arena. That’s not to say don’t hope for big and great things, but it does mean being okay with losing and not always coming out on top. You have gained something worth more than anything – growth. You win some, you lose some, but that doesn’t make it right. Rapper Big Sean says a great verse I try to live by, okay, you win some, lose some, break some, bruise some, Life could be a test, multiple-choice, choose some, Choose one, stick with it, man, prove some, Sometimes the best teachers are ourselves going’ through something.” So through challenges in life, look at it as something positive (a growthful period), instead of a why me pity party.
