God’s knowledge is infinite. His wisdom, like many of his facets, is given freely to us if we ask. But what happens when you already think you know how to solve a problem?
Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment. (Proverbs 9:10 NLT)
About 4 months ago, after attending my close friend’s birthday celebration, I felt convicted about the environment I was in and felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to tell her. A few days later, I prayed and then told her about the conviction and expressed that because of it there were some activities during her bachelorette weekend that I didn’t wish to be a part of. I tried my best to thoroughly answer the “why now” questions asked, however, it quickly turned into hurt as a result of the words said without love. At the same moment fear began to hover over my thoughts. Clouded by my emotions, I ceased to hear the Holy Spirit and it left me feeling anxious.
During this time, it felt like every other conversation worsened the offense of the initial one, a situation which got so overwhelming that it started to affect my mood every day. I confided in a friend about the situation, and he suggested that I not go to the bachelorette weekend to keep my conscience clear and the Holy Spirit agreed. However, I insisted on going to “keep peace” with my friend, and that’s where I got it wrong.
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? (Mark 16:26 NLT)
If the Holy Spirit has already convicted me to do a thing, why would I go against it claiming that it will bring peace? As humans we tend to think of ourselves as wise but all the wisdom from above is pure (James 3:17), meaning that it’s consistent and has no sin in it. I didn’t listen and went on the bachelorette trip and experienced the heaviest spiritual attack I ever have in my life thus far. Anxiety, condemnation and guilt consumed me and I felt so far from God during that time. And when I tried to express the warfare I was going through at the time, my friend wasn’t receptive to it.
So there I was, in a place that I wasn’t supposed to be in, spirits bullying me and without any help from those around me and I heard His voice. “You are going to make out, but you have to listen to me now.” As I got on the plane back home, the Holy Spirit told me to call the same friend I confided in before I went on the trip, and as soon as he saw my face he told me to pray and ask God to show me the next steps and this time, listen.
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.(James 1:5)
The collective result of the conflict resulted in me leaving the bridal party and the friendship all together, which was a very hard decision to make. I won’t say all of the actions I took came from God’s wisdom as He was and still is pruning my approach to conflict. I will say that I now see the gap between my wisdom and His wisdom: it’s knowledge. I challenge you to see God’s wisdom as something to be asked for, even if you think you know what to do the next time a conflict arises.
Scripture Reading: Proverbs 9:10; Mark 16:26; James 1:5 & 3:17
