Failure. It is something we never want to feel but sometimes can not escape. I have had my own feelings of failure in the last couple months. As some of you may know, I started my first semester of law school this past August. I have wanted to go to law school since I was in elementary school. I have always felt that this was always going to be the path of my life, or at least that’s what I thought. Coming straight through from college was more difficult than I imagined. It was in those months that I experienced true imposter syndrome. I felt like I was not good enough, like I was undeserving of the place I was in my life. I am sure that many of you have felt the same way. There is usually some area that people feel that they excel more. For some of you it may be music, art, fashion, beauty etc. For me, like many others, it is school. I was always known for doing well in school and excelling amongst my peers. This followed me throughout college where I graduated with honors. But law school. . . let me tell you! Law school is not one joke. I am the youngest in my class. I also come from a low income background where my parents were not lawyers who could afford tutors like many of my peers. I battled through constant feelings of not feeling good or prepared enough. And when I received my final grades back, they seemed like a confirmation of all my negative thoughts. I expected better but did not live up to my high, kind of unrealistic expectations. I wanted to give up. I am going to tell you why I did not and why you shouldn’t either.
Because “being smart” was a part of my identity throughout my life, I was lost when I did not do as well as I have before. This is what happens when you rely so much one only one aspect of yourself. You are bigger than one aspect of yours. We as human beings are truly the sum of our many unique parts. If you are struggling in something that for a long time you were amazing at, that does not make you any less of who you were before. And just because you are experiencing a rough patch in something that seemed so familiar does not mean that it is no longer for you. This message right here is the sign that you are looking for to persist through the adversity. You belong where you are and there is so much more in store for you.
Growing is hard, and that does not only apply to our personal lives. Growing into who you are in your professional life could be hard as well. At times when you feel unworthy, undeserving, not good enough, remember that you belong there. If this is truly your calling, then the biggest thing standing in your way can be your negative thoughts. What or whomever you believe in, would not have placed you in this position if you were all the negative things you think. A person told me that it was an insult to the person I believe in to think that I was not meant to be in the position that He placed me in. I was walking through life thinking that I was alone and was the cause of all my shortcomings. In reality, we are not alone. We have to have faith that our future is bigger than us and where we are meant to be we will be. I hope that through my story, you find inspiration and the signal to keep moving forward. You have to see this through. Remember to believe in yourself and definitely remember that we at Un-Associated believe in you too!
