The idea of taking online classes was never a thought that occurred to me. When choosing classes, I would look at the option of taking online classes as detrimental because I knew that my focus would not be as strong and my performance would be subpar. So every year, as classes became available, I found myself trying to map out how far each class would be from the next. Wondering if the class has an outlet so I can charge my phone or laptop because I know I sometimes forget to charge one of them. I’d hope the teacher doesn’t make a big deal out of eating in class. You know, all of the things associated with being in class for the day.
But this year was different. We knew from the beginning where our classes were going to be held – at home. I didn’t have to worry about making it to class on time, about sitting next to an outlet, or have to wake up thirty minutes earlier to make sure I made it to class on time. There was no walking to different buildings and running into friends and familiar faces. We didn’t have the opportunity to put our head down on Bruin Walk, turn our music up, and ignore the endless fliers being passed out. Having to take classes online has been hard for everyone and for many reasons outside of social deprivation.
In-person classes have a different feel to them simply because they’re in a different environment. For starters, the teacher’s physical presence resonates far more than the digital one. Their instructions seemed so much more natural because they were being heard in their natural voices – voices that didn’t cut in and out due to connection problems. The ability to check out of class is almost preferred compared to sitting in front of a computer to listen and participate in a lecture after you spent hours in front of the same computer doing homework. As a student who has spent their last 13 years learning in a classroom, being around other students, and participating in extracurricular activities that help me stay focused on school while experiencing stress, making the transition from attending class in-person and being on campus to attending class on Zoom to depending on my education to come from online resources has been extremely difficult and foreign.
Zoom University has been a struggle for all students, regardless of age or institution. It has made my academic senior year extremely hard due to the lack of engagement, which has had a direct impact on my motivation and attentiveness. Usually every senior goes through a phase of having no motivation and a lack of excitement towards academia, known as senioritis. However, this year’s senioritis, paired with the pandemic and requirement to adjust to online classes, has taken an extreme toll on my performance. Now, education is not the goal, but survival is. I feel I have to do the bare minimum to stay afloat, but even that seems to be extremely challenging due to circumstance and lack of motivation. I am not afraid of the idea of failing because I know I will not allow for that to happen, but it is extremely stressful and difficult to say the least. If you are anything like me, I completely understand and I want you to know that you aren’t alone.
In fact, if you find yourself feeling similarly, that is more of a reason to continue forward. One, because it can help you relieve some stress to know that you aren’t going through this by yourself, and two, you can take more control over your situation by understanding that even in the midst of a pandemic that changed your world, you survived, you thrived and were able to succeed. It may not look how you wanted, but you did it regardless. For that, I applaud you and wish you good luck!
